You Talkin' to Me?
Columnists are feeling a draft
From: Gonzalez, John
To: Ford, Bob; Sheridan, Phil
Subject: The draft
Oklahoma State TE Brandon Pettigrew racked up 472 yards in eight games for the Cowboys in 2008. (AP photo)
The draft is tomorrow. I can't wait. It's one of my favorite days of the year. I plan on ordering a mess of food and sinking into the couch and watching a lot of television (which, come to think of it, makes it like any other weekend for me).
Are the two of you into the draft or do you think it's an overrated sports day? And what would you like to see the Birds do with their remaining first-round pick?
From: Sheridan, Phil
To: Ford, Bob; Sheridan, Phil
Subject: The draft
First draft I covered, we all went to a room in the bowels of Veterans Stadium, it started at 8 a.m., and they did 12 rounds in one day. The Eagles took Kevin Allen in the first round and Randall Cunningham in the second. I thought it was the stupidest thing I ever covered, and I was only wrong in that the draft itself got stupider and more cumbersome every year as it morphed into a TV event for people who don't really like sports at all - just pretending they know more than the real coaches and GMs about players they've never seen play in person.
Not sure what's worse. The 4 p.m. start time or the breathless "reports" from ESPN correspondents who get handed information by the teams so they have something to say during the eternal TV-mandated gaps between selections. I'd rather watch a documentary about how they make dryer sheets.
As for the Eagles, I hope they package the No. 21 pick and a second-rounder, move up into the top 10, and then take a guard from a Division II school. Just for kicks.
From: Gonzalez, John
To: Ford, Bob; Sheridan, Phil
Subject: The draft
You're such a killjoy. What's better than a day of pizza and Mel Kiper's hair and the commish announcing a bunch of names you've never heard before and won't remember?
I love all the nonsense - the fans who head to NYC to scream and cry, the teams who bungle their picks, the on-air fighting between the talking heads. I wish every day was draft day.
By the way, if we were drafting a three-man roster for Talkin', I could see the two of you lasting until the fourth and fifth rounds.
From: Ford, Bob
To: Gonzalez, John; Sheridan, Phil
Subject: The draft
Sounds like a fun weekend for the Page 2 columnist, doesn't it, Phil?
I'll be at the NovaCare Complex trying to figure out what to write about the Division II guard. We Page 1 columnists have a nickname for weekends. We call them "work days."
The draft is OK, but it goes too long, and starting at 4 p.m. is just ridiculous. I also get very tired of anyone outside a team organization who pretends to know, really know, about some player from Wyoming. That means by the middle of the first round, I'm pretty much tired of everyone.
From: Gonzalez, John
To: Ford, Bob; Sheridan, Phil
Subject: The draft
Working is for suckers, Buttons. Besides, going to the NovaCare and listening to the company line isn't working. It's more like getting water-boarded with words.
For the record, if the Birds don't trade for Anquan Boldin - still crossing my fingers on that one - I'd be happy to see them draft Knowshon Moreno.
From: Sheridan, Phil
To: Ford, Bob; Sheridan, Phil
Subject: The draft
Yes, I heard someone on the radio tick off all the local media (cough, hack) experts who want them to take Moreno, concluding that the "fan base" will be up in arms if they don't. And we know, of course, that the media and fans know best (cough, hack, Ricky Williams, hack).
I'll say it again: The NFL draft is a distillation of all that is wrong and stupid about pro sports.
From: Gonzalez, John
To: Ford, Bob; Sheridan, Phil
Subject: The draft
"The NFL draft is a distillation of all that is wrong and stupid about pro sports."
I thought that was my job.
