Morning Bytes: Inane lead-up to Eagles-Giants
Peeking in on the electronic media in the run-up to the Eagles-Giants divisional playoff game Sunday at the Meadowlands
WHA-TV: (Late in its 6 p.m. local newscast:)
ERIC MENCHER / Staff Photographer
It's certain that Eagles fans at bars will be pounced on by local TV news for incite into the big game. It's also certain most will offer nothing more than drunken cheers.
ANCHOR JIM RATT: OK, now that we've spent 28 minutes on apartment fires, police crime scenes and snow scares, we're about to go live to our own Kathy Parmesano, who's at a Northeast Philadelphia bar where Eagles fans are watching the big game with Minnesota. Kathy?
KP: That's right, Jim. It's really quite a remarkable scene here. Eagles fans are not only wearing green jerseys and drinking beer, but they're also cheering loudly when their team does something good!
JR: Wow, amazing. Be safe, Kathy. How do they feel?
KP: Let's ask one. I have with me here Bill Overdue of Hatboro. So, Bill, how do you think Andy McNabb is doing today?
BO: We're goin' all the way, baby! WHOOOOO!
KP: Ooh, I think the Eagles just got a goal. How do you feel about that?
BO: We're goin' all the way, baby! WHOOOOO!
KP: Well, as you can see, Jim, a very knowledgeable crowd here at Busty McStupid's. Back to you. And let's go, Eagles!
WACK-AM (Midweek morning talk-radio chat:)
HUGHES TOBY ARIGHTER: We're back. All week we'll be previewing the big game between our Eagles and those stinking Giants. Leah, why don't you say something crude and salacious to pump up our audience's testosterone levels, not to mention our ratings?LEAH: Johnson!
HTA: Ha-ha-ha. Whoa, girl! Anyway, we're looking for reactions to our question of the day: Who do you hate more? Donovan McNabb or Saddam Hussein? Let's go to Richie from Fishtown.
RFF: Yo, how Hughes doin'?
HTA: Ha-ha-ha. Funny stuff, Richie.
RFF: Gettin' back to the question, the Eagles suck and I hate Hussein and McNabb. But at least Hussein never smiled when the Coalition was kickin' Republican Guard butt.
HTA: That's a very solid point.
LEAH: That's what she said!
HTA: Ha-ha-ha. Whew! Next up is Dimmie from Haddonfield. Go ahead, Dimmie.
DFH: Yo, who was Hussein?
HTA: You know, the evil dictator.
LEAH: Oooh, he said dictator!
WDUH-TV (A remote shot outside the Eagles' locker room with reporter Noel Ittle:)
NL: I'm here with coach Andy Reid. Coach, your thoughts?AR: On what?
NL: Um - Coach, how do you feel?
AR: About what?
NL: Thanks, Coach, for your candor. Back to you guys in the studio.
ANCHOR: Interesting stuff, Noel.
COMCAST SPORTS NETWORK: (The opening of Eagles Pregame Live:)
MICHAEL BARKANN: Welcome everyone. Before we start this morning, we'd like to pass along our sincere condolences to some folks here in the great Commonwealth of PENN-SYL-VA-NIA! Our thoughts are with all of you out there in Harrisburg who are enduring the century's worst flooding as well as a cholera outbreak of biblical proportions; with the employees of Sunoco, Heinz Food and U.S. Steel, all of which announced yesterday that they'll be leaving Pennsylvania unless there are substantive talks with state officials by 7 tonight; and, finally, to all you survivors in the former city of Pittsburgh.Now, to the important issues at hand. Let's go to THE GOV, none other than EDWARD G. RENDELL, for his predictions on today's Eagles-Giants matchup at the Meadowlands.
ED RENDELL: Well, Michael, as you might imagine, I didn't sleep much. Thinking about this game had me up all night. That said, I'm going with the Eagles, 20-17. I'd also like to remind everyone that I'll be at Chickie's & Pete's tonight at 7, where I'll be signing legislation designating crab fries as Pennsylvania's official overrated carbohydrate.
MB: You like the Steelers, too?
ER: I used to. A real tragedy. But I think that even had the Steelers endured the fire and earthquake, the Eagles would have been too much for them in the Super Bowl.
ESPN (Sports Center's Swami Sez segment):
CHRIS BERMAN: In Philly, those Birds have been packing some serious heat - 5-1 in their last six. Big wins over Dallas in the Shoot-out at the OK Corral Buckhalter and over the Minnesota Pops. Coach Andy "Why Can't Johnny" Reid has his Mount Everest-seeking team peaking at exactly the right time. Brian "If It's Not East It's" Westbrook, Jason Avant "To Be Alone" and Donovan "Marty" McNabb are flying like, well, Eagles. For more, let's go to Sal Paolantonio in the City of Brotherly Shove.SP: Boomer, my sources have told me that there aren't four people in America who know what the hell you're talking about.
The NHL bites: Apparently there are hockey players with teeth.
Ottawa's Jarkko Ruutu allegedly bit the thumb of Buffalo's Andrew Peters in a game Tuesday night.
Those who witnessed the incident said it began when Peters called Ruutu a "poopy head."
NHL officials informed Ruutu's mother, who said that, if true, her son will be in big trouble when his father gets home.
NASCAR note of the week: This is the off-season for our favorite motor sport, but that doesn't mean there aren't some important dates to be recalled. For example:
Dec. 25, 1878 – Louis Chevrolet was born in Switzerland. Chevrolet, who competed in four Indianapolis 500s, is best known for co-founding the Chevrolet Motor Car Co., with Seymour TrailBlazer S-50.
