Gonzo: Some jokes have truth to them

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Gonzo: Some jokes have truth to them

Maybe he was kidding. Maybe not.

You've no doubt heard what supposedly happened in the Phillies clubhouse after Game 5. Various media outlets reported that Brett Myers made a snide comment to Cole Hamels - something on the order of "what are you still doing here? I thought you quit." Myers told two Inquirer reporters yesterday that there was no confrontation - that he and Hamels are tight and he was just messing around.

Cole Hamels pitches vs. the Dodgers. Hamels has had a rough year - and some of the problems have been his own doing.
YONG KIM / Staff Photographer
Cole Hamels pitches vs. the Dodgers. Hamels has had a rough year - and some of the problems have been his own doing.

Could be. But here's the thing: Myers apparently told that same joke several times that evening in a room full of reporters. Players - like sportswriters - are notorious for busting chops. But if it was all in good fun, why crack on your boy in front of a pack of people who will turn your words into national news? It doesn't make sense.

Myers might be a knucklehead, but he's not stupid. Maybe you believe him when he says he wasn't serious, but I don't. I think Myers was ticked that Hamels said he's ready for the season to be over, and he couldn't stop himself from taking a shot at the guy.

Regardless of whether the Myers remarks were sincere, the whole thing underscores what's become painfully apparent lately: Hamels has replaced Donovan McNabb as the most scrutinized and ridiculed athlete in Philly.

Think about how far he's fallen. Hollywood was a big budget pitcher last year - the NLCS and World Series MVP. This season he's been the opposite - a box office bust on the order of Ben Affleck.

He's become a target for that, and rightly so. But, like McNabb, he's been criticized and lampooned as much for his off-field comments and demeanor as his on-field performance (or lack thereof).

In the press box recently, one of my colleagues was regaling a crowd with his impersonation of Hamels. It doesn't translate so well to print, but there was a lot of talk about being "fierce" and getting his "highlights done." The performance drew a lot of belly laughs.

People just love making fun of Hamels now. It's neverending. Maybe that's because Hamels - like McNabb, who can be a bit of a goof - isn't a traditionally Philly kind of guy. He doesn't curse like a drunken dock worker or grab his crotch when the cameras are on him, and that bothers some people. He's California smooth, and that really bothers some people.

He's easy to pick on. The traveling chiropractor. The E! True Hollywood Story. The reality-show wife. The fact that he's from sunny (some might say soft) San Diego. None of that has endeared him to gruff, gray, humorless old-school baseball fans or working- class Philadelphia.

The infamous Philadelphia magazine ads didn't win him any friends from that crowd, either. If you missed them, he and his wife and some kids (who aren't theirs) were dressed in all white while lying in bed together. Creepy. In a shocking turn of events, Deadspin pounced all over that one and ran a brutal post with this headline: "Cole Hamels continues his slow transformation into a doily."

Then there were the Internet pictures of Hamels carrying his tiny dog through Center City in a backpack and the talk of him cruising around town in a mini-van. Just more fuel for those who love to torch the guy.

I was driving to Citizens Bank Park recently when some people on WIP started ripping Hamels. They thought it was hilarious that he's not a fan of muscle cars and didn't keep the Chevy Camaro he was awarded after winning the World Series MVP. I'm not sure why that's so amusing, but they seemed to think it was a real hoot.

It's not just the faceless Internet comedians or wise- guy radio hosts and callers who riff on him, either. Keith Olbermann has a blog on MLB.com called Baseball Nerd. Here are a few lines from a particularly biting Hamels missive:

"Looking ahead: if you watch Cole Hamels pitch will you, like me, be unable to get out of your head his new commercial, and that almost munchkin-like question to the fan who comes to the mound: 'Who are yoooooo?'"

When a guy who's so bloated he looks as if he swallowed Dan Patrick back in 1997 is scoring points on you, you've sunk to impossibly low depths. But that's the way it goes for Hamels these days. He and McNabb should start a support group.

Hamels has made some aggressively dumb comments to the media lately, but he was right about one thing: the guy could use a fresh start.


Contact columnist John Gonzalez at 215-854-2813 or gonzalez@phillynews.com.

113
Comments   
Posted 05:25 AM, 11/04/2009
jshoup5
Said it for year, Hamels in a self centered jerk. Think the Roy Halladay thing would work out NOW with him included?
Posted 05:51 AM, 11/04/2009
SallyAnn
jshoup5: You're a jerk. You don't give up on a 25 year old young pitcher with a great future.
Posted 06:03 AM, 11/04/2009
Manor2009
You know if it looks like a duck, quacks like a duck, etc. Philly has a way of devouring its own. I hope Hamels is not going to become yet another casualty. Carlton was also streaky at the beginning of his career, but no one ever accused Lefty of being soft. I do question Hamels' resiliency and heart. The Joan Crawford act needs to go.
Posted 06:50 AM, 11/04/2009
drbob456
Just an immature little boy craving attention.And we're stuck with him for now.
Posted 06:58 AM, 11/04/2009
Scorekeeper
He's 25. How bright were any of us at 25? Besides, we didn't have millions scrutinizing our every move. Hamels is fine, and he'll be fine. When all is said and done, he could be the last Phillie to ever wear #35, and you don't give up on talent like that.
Posted 07:03 AM, 11/04/2009
He had high apple pie in the sky hopes.
Any 25 year-old multimillionaire jock, who is caught driving around town in a minivan, IS OBVIOUSLY NOT a "self centered jerk" or an "immature little boy craving attention" . . . You stupid idiots.
Posted 07:09 AM, 11/04/2009
Voytas
Hamels won a title, there is no comparison to Mcwhiner.
Posted 07:17 AM, 11/04/2009
Will T.
Some similarities no doubt, but Cole has a ring, and he's shown that he can pitch under pressure. D-Mac cannot pitch under pressure we alll know that...it's documented. Cole gets a free pass this season from me because of what he did last year. But, when the Phils win tonight he'll have one more chance to wipe out all the negative tomorrow night.
Posted 07:33 AM, 11/04/2009
AlanInFlorida
Lighten up people. The kid is 25 with millions of $ in his pocket and tons of talent. What do you expect? Philly should be used to this stuff, remember: Waters, Iverson, Lindros...Plus who is Myers to say anything to anybody? He's not exactly been Mr. Reliable and was ready to "quit" when they traded for Lidge. Just sayin'
Posted 07:34 AM, 11/04/2009
ZOSO
No way should he start, he is tainted.
Posted 07:48 AM, 11/04/2009
psu05
Hamels will get his redemption in Game 7.
Posted 07:53 AM, 11/04/2009
dlscholt
Get off his back. Don't you think he's trying to do his best? Maybe he needs to develop his curveball, and the league has caught up with his changeup, but he's still a good pitcher, and you can't give up on him. And all this criticism of his lifestyle is ridiculous.
Posted 07:54 AM, 11/04/2009
Captain
I don't know about you guys. But I hate the guy who was mostly responsible for the Phils winning the World Series last year. I mean what has he done for us lately right? I mean other than being the main reason the Phils won the World Series in 2008.
Posted 07:56 AM, 11/04/2009
power808
Bingo Voytas. Hamels got the job done last year and won us a title. Something McNabb will never do for this city. I'll just say Hamels had an off year. McLoser is like your girl friend who keeps breaking your heart but you continue to go back with her.
Posted 08:02 AM, 11/04/2009
borntosuffer
He delivered HUGE last year - maybe more so than any Phillie in their history. For that, I give him a lot of slack. He's frustrated with his season and struggling with how to deal with it. But, if we somehow squeeze out a win tonight, I want him pitching in game 7.
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