Gonzo: For Andy, a little friendly advice

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Dear Andy Reid,

Have you watched SportsCenter lately? The Memphis Tigers just axed their football coach - some guy named Tommy West. You should have heard his post-firing news conference. You would have loved it.

Eagles coach Andy Reid is used to negativity, especially from journalists. In the spirit of a former Memphis coach who thinks the media should be positive, here are a few suggestions.
YONG KIM / Staff Photographer
Eagles coach Andy Reid is used to negativity, especially from journalists. In the spirit of a former Memphis coach who thinks the media should be positive, here are a few suggestions.

"You've got to find a way to get the negative surrounding this thing out of it," West said, talking about the fan and media environment that envelops the team down there. "I don't know how you do it. I don't know if you can do it. But you got to do that.

"Instead of writing the sarcastic, smart-aleck-remark articles, why not call me and ask me: 'Coach, what can I do to help your football program? We love this city. We love this football program. How can I help it?' Instead of running it down all the time - when it doesn't go exactly right, running it down."

Pretty amazing, right? Tell me you haven't had similar thoughts for the last 11 seasons. Negative atmosphere? Smart-aleck articles? Running the coach and the team down when things don't go exactly right? Mercy. It's as if he looked inside your soul.

Let's be honest: When things don't go well, this city can't wait to rip you. We love to make fun of the way you struggle with clock management and challenge flags, and especially of your untreated allergy to the running game. Then you went out and got Michael Vick and put together this whole Wildcat package thing, which was a pretty bad move if you were hoping people would ease up.

But, hey, this West character is onto something. He's tired of sarcastic stories (these tabloids today, you know?) and he wants journos to call and ask how they can help.

Sadly, you don't pick up the phone anymore when Page 2 is on the line, but we want to aid you, anyway.

Your Eagles are 5-3 and still have a good shot to win the division and make a deep push in the playoffs. Five friendly suggestions, then, to help your team do just that:

1. Put the Wildcat down for good. It's time to put the beast out of its misery.

2. Run the ball. Please.

3. Use DeSean Jackson more. You remember him, don't you? Small guy with crazy speed? Dallas did a good job taking him away - but so did you. Only five targets, Andy? That's all? He's your best offensive weapon. If he isn't getting double-digit touches, something's wrong. Besides, he just hired Drew Rosenhaus. It's in your best interest to keep him happy. No one wants another driveway workout/news conference.

4. Teach Asante Samuel how to wrap up people. Every time he waves at a receiver and misses an arm tackle, an angel dies.

5. Hire someone to manage the clock. You're good at a lot of things, but time-outs and getting plays in promptly aren't among them. You need someone to stand over your shoulder and whack you with a rolled-up newspaper (not The Inquirer) whenever you're about to waste a time-out for no apparent reason or you're slow to pick a course of action. I have at least five friends who are out of work and would do it for cheap. Think of it as a public service - you'd help lower the unemployment rate. Since Jeffrey Lurie is all about using the Eagles as a device for social betterment, your boss will love it.

You're welcome. Now get moving.

Sincerely,

Page 2

Watching the Giants lose to the Chargers last week was wonderful. Watching Brandon Jacobs scuttle my fantasy hopes wasn't so hot. It's a crazy, mixed-up world.

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Posted 06:10 AM, 11/15/2009
JamesJ
But the Memphis Tigers do not have the "best roster in the league."
Posted 06:45 AM, 11/15/2009
tacklinjoe
This recent advice writers are giving AR to get a game manager, clock manager, is very good. It probably would work. As one writer said yesterday, Reid is good at seven out of eight things. Delegate to someone else the game mgt. He's obviously bad at it.
Posted 07:27 AM, 11/15/2009
Seed
Gozos 0-6 record indicate how good he is at understanding football :-) But the advises are basic and they are good. This team truly can be great by end of the season if the O-line start to become more healthy and defense can hold up it's end of the bargain. Defense has done consistently well except against Saints when the QB and special team gave up 28 point. Offense is not consistent, but they need to keep up mistake free games and start building plays list for McCoy and DeSean as the season progress.
Posted 08:03 AM, 11/15/2009
Nickawampus Leroy
Quit.
Posted 08:31 AM, 11/15/2009
garcia7
Move Andy up to front office and coach's booth during game day. Hire Mike Shanahan to run all on field operations. Trade Vick to the Jets for Lito Shepherd. Install Kolb as starting QB and bring McNab to run the Wildcat. Sign Larry Johnson the next time Westbrook gets a headache. Start using Weaver as a regular part of the offense. Leave the new defensive co-ordinator alone. He knows what he is doing. His former mentor prepared him well.
Posted 08:32 AM, 11/15/2009
4thand10
During those games when McNabb is throwing the ball to kill worms, or to knock down birds flying above the stadium, take him out and put Kolb in. So if McNabb has a passer rating below 70 in the first half, you always leave him in and he does not ever get better in the second half. If his rating is below 70 take McNabb out at the half.
Posted 08:33 AM, 11/15/2009
poger67
Stop being so stubborn. He comes into a game with a game plan in hand, and when it's obvious to EVERYONE that after the first couple series that plan is ineffectual, he sticks with it. Also, with his team - starting with #5 - he continually tries to pound a square peg into a round hole. We have effective weapons at RB and deep threats at WR, and now even a decent TE, but Reid's game plan isn't suited to their talents - especially at this stages in their respective careers. A good coach will look at his talent and design an offensive game plain to maximize their talents and minimize their weaknesses - not try to reshape them during a game to his vision. Oh yeah - the thing that drives me INSANE about AR's playcalling - if it's 3rd and 8 - don't throw the ball 5 yards and hope to get it on yards after the catch!! I continually see other teams with 3rd and long design plays to get the ball PAST the first down line.
Posted 08:40 AM, 11/15/2009
eaglephanatic
Andy thinks he knows better than anyone, so all of the sound advice in the article and in the comments above will probably fall on deaf ears. It is this arrogance that is his biggest weakness. garcia7 is especially right on!
Posted 08:43 AM, 11/15/2009
brinkmang
Quit and hire Gruden.
Posted 09:12 AM, 11/15/2009
MooseBreathMints
Just 1 point: He has had 10 YEARS to develop a working 2 MINUTE DRILL. Where is it?!?!!!!
Posted 09:30 AM, 11/15/2009
tomarch
resign!
Posted 09:33 AM, 11/15/2009
Paul SoTX
You losers will miss Andy when the next coach goes five years without a playoff win. This isn't anywhere close to the best roster in the division, never mind the league. Reid's teams contend every year anyway.
Posted 09:49 AM, 11/15/2009
dont-take-it-personal
I agree with poger67. Apply a game plan that suits thier talents. San Diego is not good against the run as well as the raiders. I'll bet the house, Andy will call at least 40 pass plays and 15 run plays. The owner of the Memphis Tigers needs a job in ownership in Philly. FIRE REID ASAP!!! A trade of Larry Johnson sounds good, but Lito Sheppard, Andy Reid in the front office, and Kevin Kolb at starting qb, dumb move! I saw Kolb play against a superb defense in Baltimore and a sub-par defense in New Orleans, and he still needs to hold that clipboard. He did good against the chiefs, but I can beat the chiefs, and I can't even throw a football over 30 yards or read a defense. Andy in the front office is insane! Andy and other front office personel will tell you that Donovan has his best roster yet. Yeah right! Kurt Warner was told that in St. Louis and Arizona. It was some truth in that. He had pro bowl receivers in Fitzgerald, Boldin, Holt, Bruce, and a future a hall of fame rb Marshall Faulk. Trade for Sheppard. 50/50. He's not the same player He was years ago.
Posted 10:03 AM, 11/15/2009
RoastedBird
Andy is problem #1...I'll give him credit for being the all time winningest coach in Eagles history and running a pretty tight ship; HOWEVER, HE HAS LOST MORE GAMES DUE TO THE REASONS CITED; inability to stay the course with a football 101 concept (running the ball), time management, game management, stubborness (reno mahe, etc) and poor play selection....HE HAS LOST TWO GAMES THIS SEASON..and has done so almost every year....the inability to stop the screen pass in the SB or run his own SCREEN passes or a RUN game in the Bowl doomed the Birds...He needs the Zorn treatment....YO, big guy.....Just stand on the sidelines and marvel at what you have put together but PLEASE no more hands on from you on game days...you STINK!
Posted 10:16 AM, 11/15/2009
steelydad
Trying to give this stubborn, arrogant man advice is like trying to teach a worm to dance.
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