If you go to any zoo you'll see signs all over the place advising you what not to do. Don't feed the animals. Don't poke the animals. Don't stick your limbs inside the cage. That kind of thing. It's for your safety.
A couple of years ago, three guys went to the San Francisco Zoo. Only two made it out alive. Zoo officials said the men were taunting a tiger and throwing things into the cage to provoke it. The men denied it. Either way, that tiger got awfully upset at something and escaped from its pen - which was surrounded by a 15-foot-wide moat and a 20-foot-high wall. (Motivated tiger.) Then the tiger attacked one of the men and killed him.
A lot of people blamed the zoo and the tiger. No doubt it was a terrible tragedy, but that always seemed ridiculous to me. Tigers act on instinct. Bother one, and it's unlikely it'll respond by licking your face. Besides, certain places require visitors to be aware of their surroundings, act appropriately and show proper respect - otherwise they might get mauled.
Ballparks are a lot like zoos. Fans pay admission to gawk at something they don't fully understand and don't see on a regular basis. Most of the time, people keep their distance and go home happy and unharmed. But every now and then some sap gets too close and does something stupid, and the next thing you know the guy is crying about how he didn't expect it while he picks pieces of himself up off the concrete floor.
That sounds like what happened with J.C. Romero down in Tampa. A 25-year-old named Robert Eaton says he got into a physical altercation with Romero after a game. Both sides seem to agree that Eaton asked Romero for an autograph. And both sides agree that the conversation somehow escalated into a physical argument after Eaton reportedly made a crack about steroids.
Eaton told the St. Petersburg Times that Romero "grabbed him by the neck" and "pushed him." Romero told The Inquirer that Eaton was drunk. Eaton filed a police report thereafter.
None of that is surprising, but some of the reaction to the story has been.
Pacifists everywhere have criticized Romero for allegedly putting his hands on a fan. The story made national news, and a lot of people wagged a disapproving finger at Romero. There were a bunch of sanctimonious radio conversations and how-could-he columns. Yesterday, one of our Daily News cousins wrote that Romero crossed the line despite the fact that he was provoked.
That seems sort of silly. Was it a good idea for Romero to scrap with Eaton? Probably not. But I don't blame him. Athletes aren't automatons. They have emotions and breaking points. And most of them are bigger and stronger and tougher than we are. If you're going to antagonize them, you better be ready for the fallout. You'd better know what you're doing.
Words and actions come with repercussions. In zoo parlance: Keep your hands outside the cage at all times - otherwise you might lose them.
Romero told Comcast SportsNet that while they were jawing at each other he instructed Eaton to "think before he speaks." Eaton claims Romero told him to shut up. According to Romero, Eaton responded by saying, "What are you going to do about it?"
Ask a question, get an answer.
Frankly, Eaton is lucky that Romero didn't give him a real beating. And the idea that Eaton was "in shock" - as he told the St. Pete Times - is utter nonsense.
If you're going to poke the tiger again and again and again, don't claim you're surprised when he leaps over the moat and hurdles the wall and tears you apart. And don't stand there and whine about it. Just run.
Either that, or maybe leave the tiger alone next time.
Is it too much to ask for Carlos Ruiz to get a little weird now and then? Since Darren Daulton left town, we've been without a catcher who's fond (and unashamed) of alien/time-travel/transcendentalist philosophy.
I miss that.
I didn't realize how much I pined for Dutch until he recently did an interview with Mike Missanelli on 950 ESPN. (You can listen to it here: 950espn.com). He talked about a lot of things, but steroids and drugs were chief among them.
So, did Dutch ever take PEDs?
"As we know, I've been in rehab," Daulton said. "I've been in jail - not necessarily for those reasons. I've taken more drugs than steroids. . . . If I told you all the drugs that I've ever taken, that would reflect on someone else, and then we'd open up a can of worms. I can assure you, there's probably no one in any sport that has taken more drugs than I have. OK? And I think people still respect me. It's not what goes in, it's what comes out."
Someone should fold that into a fortune cookie.
Welcome back, Jimmy Rollins. Here's hoping you and your swing are well-rested and ready to return. . . . MLB Network's The Pen is growing on me. The Del Taco drive-in scene was hilarious. Who knew Chan Ho Park is a master of deadpan comedy? . . . A site called Fantasybaseballdugout.com put together a list of the hottest guys in baseball. Your Philadelphia Phillies were well-represented. Chase Utley made the first team, while Jayson Werth, Ruben Amaro Jr., and Rollins were all part of the honorable-mention roster. . . . Rest in peace, Billy Mays. Late-night infomercials won't be the same without you.
Contact columnist John Gonzalez at 215-854-2813 or gonzalez@phillynews.com.
