Kern: Gwynedd Mercy star has special bond with coach's son

JOHN BARON couldn't help himself. Not that the Gwynedd Mercy men's basketball coach needed to apologize for the moisture he had to brush away from his eyes, or for the way his voice broke off following a prolonged pause between sentences.

Like most people in his position, he's had special relationships with many players during his 16 seasons with the program. Not all of them were necessarily solely about hoops. Still, this was different.

He was introducing Griffins forward Cedric Elleby as the Sam Cozen Player of the Week at Tuesday's Philadelphia Area Small College Coaches Association luncheon. But Baron didn't talk much about the 16 points or 10 rebounds per game his senior was averaging. This was personal. So it turned into an understandably emotional moment.

Last May, Baron and his two children lost his ex-wife and their mother to pancreatic cancer. She had spent the last months of her life living with them. They were obviously difficult times, particularly for his 14-year-old daughter, Jaylen, and 12-year-old son, J.P. The day after Jane passed, Elleby asked Baron whether he could call J.P., because he had lost his mom to tuberculosis when he was 6.

"He comes to my house in the summer; his girlfriend's my girlfriend's baby sitter," Baron said. "So he's been a part of it. I think he could tell it affected my son a lot more. Jaylen's more outgoing. She can shield her sadness. J.P.'s very reserved. The fact that he thought enough to want to do that, because he could relate . . . (But) I wasn't surprised.

"J.P. said that Cedric told him about his mom dying, and how he got through it. He told him that you can't be angry that God hurt you, that you have to look at it as a positive that you got to spend 12 years with your mom. Kids internalize things. That helped. Every once in a while, he'll still talk about what Cedric said. I worry about him. We have a counselor, so they'll have outlets. But he's the type of kid who will close the door and cry at night.

"My No. 1 priority is making sure they're OK. My kids come to all the games. And Cedric will ask me, too, how I'm doing with all this."

Elleby hadn't been to a funeral since his mother's. But he went to Jane's.

"He texted me and said he just couldn't come," Baron said. "The whole team was there. Then I saw him in the viewing line. I was, like, 'Wow.' I let him know I totally understood (if he didn't attend). I didn't want him to feel any kind of guilt. But he found a way to do it."

Elleby grew up in Brooklyn, where he wound up being was raised by his father as the fourth of five children. The family later moved to South Jersey. The Delsea High product orginally went to University of the Sciences, but quickly figured out that wasn't for him. So Devils coach Dave Pauley redirected him to GM, where Elleby will graduate with a degree in criminal justice.

On Saturday afternoon, the defending champion Griffins (21-6) will play at No. 15 Neumann (24-2) in the Colonial States Athletic Conference title game. Neumann won both meetings this season by double digits.

"I had to let J.P. know that it wasn't the end of the world, even though for him it was," Elleby said. "It's tough for a 12-year-old to understand. I told him it would be all right. He still had his dad. I see coach as my second dad. The guys are always kidding me about that. Basketball's important. It's the reason I'm here. But it's not everything.

"I told J.P. I could be his big brother off the court. I'll support him, in whatever. If he needs anything, I'll be there for him down the line. I went to watch one of his games. I told him he had six more years with his mom than I had with mine. It's going to be hard. You're going to miss her a lot. But at the end of the day, you have a father who loves you and cares about you. And that's what matters now."

Elleby has made it clear to J.P. their bond is never going away.

"I could tell when I called him he wanted to cry, but he didn't want to let me know," Elleby said. "I've seen him grow a lot. He'll come to practice and want to play one-on-one. He actually beat me in a free-throw competition the other day. Just to see him smiling and happy and everything, that's what I want.

"It means a lot to be looked at as a role model. Sometimes all you can do is give them a hug. It makes you feel good. He's a kid. He always wants to show me his moves. He'll (dribble) between his legs and be like, 'Oh, Ced, I got you.' And I got a friend for life."

Actually, he has two.

"It's why I think we coach," said Baron, who is involved with the Breathing Room Foundation, an organization that helps families with loved ones who are battling cancer. "You want to win games. But I've had 50-some kids graduate. And I stay in touch with all of them. One lives in Las Vegas. Many of them are high school coaches. One is a police officer who just had a baby last week. Another had a baby the week before that. It's great to still be involved in that portion of their lives.

"Cedric didn't have it easy. But look where he is. And I'm not going to remember the games he's won for us as much as that phone call. I think he'll remember it just as much."

kernm@phillynews.com

@mikekerndn