Suicide of Penn football player 'still sinking in'

This was supposed to be a monumental week for Penn's Jake Lewko.

The senior linebacker/long snapper, the co-Ivy League MVP for a Quakers club that last season won its first title since 2003, was finishing up his final classes before heading to Nashville, where he was scheduled to participate Friday in organized activities for the Tennessee Titans after signing as a free agent.

Instead, the Medford (N.J.) native, like every other member of the program and the Penn community, is trying his best to deal with an inexplicable tragedy - the suicide of a 21-year-old teammate.

"For a lot of us, it's the first time we've ever had to go through something like this," Lewko said yesterday. "It broke my heart."

On Monday afternoon, junior defensive end Owen Thomas, a Wharton School student who recently was voted one of the team's captains, was found dead inside a West Philadelphia apartment he shared with four others.

The medical examiner's office confirmed his death was a suicide.

Thomas starred at Parkland High School in South Whitehall Township, near Allentown.

"I'm still very excited for the chance [to make it in the NFL], but you just wish things could have happened differently," Lewko said. "When I heard the news, I couldn't believe it. We call him OT. I'd seen him the day before, at the common, at the food hall. He seemed absolutely fine. He was a bright, lively kid with a great personality. Always happy, always smiling. I just kept thinking it couldn't be him. That was such a shocker.

"It's definitely still sinking in. When I walked into the locker room and saw his locker, I couldn't stop crying. It hit me like a ton of bricks. I finally got through that, then I walked into coach's [Al Bagnoli] office. Our entire team was in there, which I didn't expect. It was just silent. That was a hard day. And it really keeps coming back. You think you're kind of past that a little bit, and it comes back and crushes you. You just really couldn't see it coming.

"Right now, the biggest thing we can do is keep everyone together. And if anyone needs any help, be there for them."

This is the second suicide in recent years on the Penn football team. In October 2005, senior running back Kyle Ambrogi, also a student in the Wharton School, committed suicide.

"In both cases [Ambrogi and Thomas], you're talking about two of the most popular kids we've ever had," Bagnoli said Monday, after news of Thomas' death came out. "They both had so much going for them. Owen was a unanimous choice [for captain] . . .

"He was as outgoing as any kid I've ever had. There were no academic issues. You just didn't worry about him. He was a wildly popular kid, a good student. So when it hits you, you're numb."

Bagnoli added: "The most puzzling part of all this is, there were no signs that the kid had any issues. If you see someone who's being isolated, loners, maybe nobody's talking to . . . but that wasn't the case here. That's why everyone's in shock."

Lewko said that, as a team captain this past season, he still feels responsible for keeping the team together.

"It really is hard coming to grips with this. Words can't explain the feelings right now," he said. "It completely overshadows everything we've done, and it's going to for a while. Until we get through this, it's almost like a big cloud hanging over us. In the long run, I think it will bring us a lot closer.

"It's on the front page of the [student] paper. You look around, walk around, there's not too many people out. It's sad. As hard as it is to talk about, we want to kind of keep it in the conversation, make sure that everyone's feeling OK with it. Time and time again.

"When you see the pain in other people's faces, it's extremely difficult to bear. I thank the coaches for being strong. I know they're hurting, as well. But they're being very selfless now, putting us first ahead of them, so we can get the help we need. Sadly, some of them had to go through this before."

"Everyone deals with it in their own way. The one thing we have in common is, you cannot deal with it alone. You have to share the pain, be vocal about it, find help if you need it. It's a very difficult time."

And the hardest part isn't over.

"I mean, I have been thinking about the viewing and funeral," Lewko said. "We've talked about it. We all agree how rough it's going to be, by far the worst part of this entire experience. Seeing Owen one last time." *