Gonzo: Shalts and shalt-nots

- John L.
John,

When I lived in Boston, right after the Sox won their first World Series in 86 years, the pink hats started popping up everywhere. They were mostly a fashion symbol, and that bugged a lot of people.

But you're right: We need to amend that commandment. Anyone under 13 is exempt. Also, someone told me that some of the proceeds from the pink hats go to cancer research. People who wear them for that reason are also exempt.

Re: The cat. Curiosity should have hired Michael Vick's lawyers.

- Gonzo

"VI. Thou shalt not leave early to beat traffic unless the home team is up or down by more than six runs after the eighth." What if it's raining? - George G.
Double G,

Tough question. I'd say stay if they're still playing, leave if it's a long rain delay. Or not. It's up to you. Unlike the guy who penned the other Ten Commandments, I don't have all the answers (or even a few of them).

- Gonzo

You know what?  I'm getting a little [ticked] over Commandment III.  Fitz [rants] on this one too. I've been a Phillies fan for 60 years and if I want to wear MY name on MY jersey that I paid a lot of money for, then I will do so.

Why do I want to pay a lot of money to honor someone who will be gone in a matter of time?  I'm the fan.  I have helped pay the bills through all of the '70-'92 seasons, faithfully and without question.  Why do a bunch of freeloading sportswriters tell me how to act? Go dip your beak in the free buffet and [shut up] about the real fans.

- Bob
Bob,

Come on, brother. It was all in good fun. I kid and I tease, but I'm not serious. It's not life and death. It's sports. Wear the jersey with pride and don't worry about it. Oh, and the buffet costs $10 now.

 - Gonzo

I love the Sixers' old-school logo, too. Does it also mean we get Big Shot back and [they'll] dump the creepy hip-hop rabbit?

And lots of people have said they wanted [Ty] Lawson over [Jrue] Holiday. I'm not done evaluating it yet, but the facts are the facts: [Holiday] averaged 8 points per game last year in the not-so-strong Pac-10 and was a nonfactor in Nova's beatdown of them in the tourney.

- E
E,

Not sure what to make of Holiday, either. He seems to be a project, and everyone agrees that he needs to improve his shooting. The Sixers already have a bunch of guys who fit that description. But I'm willing to wait and see - not that there's any other choice.

As for the mascot, I've said it before and I'll say it again: The bunny concept is so bad, it makes people pine for Big Shot - an equally awful idea. They need to take the rabbit out into the woods and let some hunter end his (and our) misery.

Where's Elmer Fudd when you need him?

- Gonzo

Gonzinu: What do you know about Sen. Joseph McCarthy? Were your parents even born yet?

-FF
FF,

Are you kidding? I'm a history nut. Besides, Jensen used to tell me stories about the 1950s. I believe he was in his 10th year at The Inquirer back then.

- Gonzo

Quite a thrill to be corresponding with a real sports columnist.

I've been struggling with why the Phillies have been the beneficiaries of so many sellouts when their home record is so lousy. I think I have the answer: If you're at the game you don't have to listen to Chris Wheeler.

 Could there be a more tedious (with apologies to Joe Buck), pretentious, and condescending announcer? How have we let the team that brought us Richie and Harry sink to this level? "Wheels," to his credit, is the only announcer who could make the Sarge look good.

Who is so enamored with this never-shut-up wordsmith that they have banished Larry Andersen to radio only?

I'll hang up and wait for your answer.

- John
John,

The home record is lousy, but people are still high from last year's World Series. The Bank has become a destination - a social gathering place. You could go to the bar, or you could go to the Bank and have a Schmitter and see and be seen. Winning changes everything - even when you start losing thereafter.

I don't have any problems with the Phillies announcers. I really like them, actually. I know some people have a beef with this guy or that guy (though everyone seems to love Scott Franzke), but I'm happy with any combination they run out there. I was away from home for about eight years. It made me appreciate our guys.

 Re: Corresponding with a real sports columnist. You're cheating on me with someone else?

- Gonzo

or gonzalez@phillynews.com.