Milwaukee calls itself "Brew City."

Philadelphia is "The Best Beer-Drinking City in America."

Milwaukee's claim to fame? Schlitz, Pabst, Blatz and Miller - four of the biggest breweries that ever bottled a beer. The first three folded long ago and exist in name only.

And Miller? Its Milwaukee headquarters is to be closed following the company's ignominious merger with Coors. Word is the clean-air types from Colorado are reluctant to move to a town where the main source of caloric intake is wrapped in the entrails of farmyard animals.

Philadelphia lost its big brewers - Schmidt's and Ortlieb's - two decades ago. But if we're looking to the past, no town can claim a more storied beer history than the City of Brewery Love.

Philadelphia was America's first brewing capital. The nation's first professionally trained brewers worked here. George Washington praised its porter as essential to American independence. Our go-to beer is Yuengling, made at America's oldest brewery.

And those classic, clear, refreshing lagers that made Milwaukee famous? America's first was brewed here, in Northern Liberties, by a German immigrant to Philadelphia.

The Founding Fathers hashed out the Declaration of Independence and the Constitution at Philadelphia's taverns. In Milwaukee, the Cheeseheads argue over the Packers.

Ben Franklin brewed beer in Philadelphia. Milwaukee's most famous brewery workers were Laverne and Shirley.

Milwaukee has Bernie Brewer. Philly has, um, Joe Sixpack.

In Milwaukee, they eat cheese curds with their beer.

In Philly, we wash down the three pillars of junk food: cheesesteaks, hoagies and soft pretzels.

Milwaukee claims to have more bars per capita than anywhere else in America, and its citizens reputedly drink more than any other town. Indeed, the state of Wisconsin drinks 38 gallons of beer a year per adult, about eight more gallons than Pennsylvania.

Philadelphia prefers quality over quantity. Iron Hill, Dogfish Head, Troegs, Stoudt's - they have have won dozens of honors for their high-quality brews.

The region makes more styles of beer than anywhere else in America - everything from Philadelphia Brewing's light, golden Kenzinger to Weyerbacher Heresy.

The city's beer bars are renowned for eclectic beer lists featuring not just local beers, but exotic tastes from around the world.

Despite Milwaukee's fame as a brewing capital, Pennsylvania actually makes more beer - about twice as much as Wisconsin.

In Milwaukee, they drink Sprecher and Lakefront. In Philly, we enjoy the taste of Victory.

Beer talk is meaningless unless you back it with some suds. So Philadelphia's Yards Brewing and Milwaukee's Lakefront Brewery are wagering kegs on the outcome of the National League Division Series.

If the Phillies win, Lakefront president Russ Klisch will pull on red-and-white pinstripes and serve Yards beer and John's Roast Pork sandwiches during public brewery tours.

If the Phillies tank, Yards president Tom Kehoe will wear a Brewers jersey and serve Lakefront beer and Usinger's Brats during tours of his brewery in Northern Liberties. *

"Joe Sixpack" by Don Russell normally appears weekly in Big Fat Friday. For more on the beer scene in Philly and beyond, visit www.joesixpack.net. Send e-mail to joesixpack@phillynews.com.