Man invented farming so he could grow the grain needed to make beer. Pasteur invented microbiology and saved a million lives while isolating yeast in beer. And the Irish invented literature while stewed on Guinness.

From refrigeration to televised sports, man's greatest inventions have been the product of his lust for suds.

And now, the Seat Saver.

The way Danny Lane tells it, the idea came after a long night of tending bar, then having a few after-work drinks back at the apartment of his pal, Eric Tecosky. The two of them had been troubling over one of the biggest challenges facing bartenders today:

Saving a barstool for patrons.

"Every 5 or 10 minutes, people get up to go to the bathroom or to step outside to smoke," said Lane. "And, usually, they put a napkin over their glass."

Napkins blow off, they droop into the drink, people ball them up and toss them on the floor. Next thing you know, some dude is stealing your seat, words get exchanged, and you're holding a broken bottle to the guy's neck.

"Really, it's just annoying," said Lane. "It's as simple as that."

Lane and Tecosky are idea men.

Lane, 30, who grew up in Cheltenham, moved to the West Coast to become a screenwriter. He collaborated on a Jackie Chan movie, worked as an assistant to Robert De Niro. When work was short, Tecosky hired him to work in his bar out in L.A.

"Eric's the guy who came up with premium bottled olive juice for dirty martinis," said Lane, who's back in Philly now. "Instead of draining the liquid from a big jug of olives, you just pour it from a bottle. There are eight other brands out there doing it right now, but Eric's was the first . . .

"He's a dreamer, like me."

And so, the two would talk.

"We need a solution, I told him," said Lane. "We need some way to save your seat."

Wouldn't it be great if . . .

Nah, that won't work . . .

Someone should invent . . .

"Maybe a new coaster," said Lane. "Something like a dome you could put over your drink."

"What, are you talking about reinventing the coaster?" said Tecosky.

And it hit them like a bolt of lightning, or at least like a shot of Johnny Walker.

"We don't have to reinvent the coaster," Lane said. "All we gotta do is put a hole in it."

A hole. Just 1 1/4 inches in diameter - big enough to slide around a bottle neck, or slip over an olive pick or straw. Hang it from your drink before stepping out, and the coaster advises in bold letters: THIS SEAT IS TAKEN.

Eureka! The Seat Saver - or, as their patent application states, "A device and method of use with a vessel, e.g., glass or bottle, holding a drink to indicate that the person to whom the drink belongs has not abandoned it and/or his/her seat and/or to protect the drink."

And/or as the Seat Saver Web site proclaims, "It's a hole new coaster!"

Inventing the thing turned out to be the easy part.

Though bartenders, especially, love the idea, the pair have struggled to get bars to adopt their coaster. That's because most coasters are purchased and distributed by beer companies and other advertisers.

So the two have been sprinkling them around, hoping to build a groundswell of support from the bottom up. They're on tables at El Carmen in Hollywood, Calif., and the Marathon Grill in Center City.

A few companies have taken a bite. Bacardi bought a bunch; Kool signed on for 1.5 million.

That sounds like a lot, till you realize that there were about a billion coasters manufactured last year in the United States alone. Lane said Anheuser-Busch bought 100 million of them.

That's what the pair are hoping for - a big hit.

"I guess with every new invention," Lane said, "you hope it's going to take off over night."

Some day, they dream, everyone will use the Seat Saver. No more soggy napkins.

It's not exactly a cure for cancer. But as Lane said, "It's a coaster that makes your bartender's life easier and gives your customer more benefit."

And, really, what more does man need in life than a safe place to sit his beer? *

"Joe Sixpack" by Don Russell appears weekly in Big Fat Friday. For more on the beer scene in Philly and beyond, visit www.joesixpack.net. Send e-mail to joesixpack@phillynews.com.