A: I've always been a little afraid of that turkey ham. Never could figure out how they crossed a turkey with a pig.

It always sounded like one of those really bad, made-for-cable movies where the voiceover intones, "They only wanted to create a tastier piece of meat. Little did they know that their experiment would go horribly awry. They created a monster that not only liked to wallow in mud, but whose gobbling tormented humans for miles around."

It would be one of those movies that's so bad it's good - after a while, you would not only enjoy the movie, but you'd start to crave some cranberry sauce. And this brings us back to the real world. What to do with turkey ham?

First, we should have a little understanding of the definition of ham. Ham by itself means pork that comes from the hind leg of a hog. Just so you are clear, ham from the front leg of a hog should be labeled pork shoulder ham or picnic ham.

Some people think a turkey, by definition, is the person who writes this column. Others have referred to me as a ham. But to those who try to call me a turkey ham, I cry, fowl!

Just as ham is from the thigh of a hog, turkey ham is made from the thigh meat of a turkey and is considered a lower-fat alternative to its porky cousin. Although turkey thigh meat has more fat and is juicer than breast meat, turkey ham can be up to 95 percent fat-free.

That brings us to glazes. Glazes are spread over a ham before baking to enhance the flavor and keep the meat moist and tender.

Since we are working already with a low-fat ham (turkey), glazing is even more important.

Berttina, it's not that I don't want your crappy glaze recipe, but - depending on how much you like your family members - maybe one of the following combinations would be better.

Start with the basic recipe, then follow the cooking tips below.

CREOLE MUSTARD

AND BALSAMIC GLAZE

1/2 cup brown sugar

5 tablespoons balsamic vinegar

2 tablespoons honey

3 tablespoons spicy, Creole-style mustard

1/2 cup dry white wine

2 tablespoons butter, diced