MIAMI (AP) — So many cheaters, so little advice.

What is a governor to do if he has been caught cheating? What about the father of eight children and star of a hit reality TV show? Or the head of a European country caught in a scandal over whether he paid for sex?

Everyone needs advice sometimes. And since they're unlikely to seek it themselves, we decided to seek it for them.

Here we ask four nationally syndicated advice columnists for their thoughts on fictional letters from real scandal magnets. The experts are Dear Prudence by Emily Yoffe of Slate magazine; Ask Amy by Amy Dickinson of the Chicago Tribune; Dear Abby; and Peter Post, director of The Emily Post Institute.

Dear Prudence,

I am the governor of a Southern state with a little problem south of the border.

It all started when I went missing and those pesky media started asking questions. My aides told people I was hiking the Appalachian Trail, but I quickly had to cut my trip short and tell the truth: I was in Argentina, where the other woman (a dear, dear friend, whom I have known for about eight years) lives.

Now our romantic e-mails are circulating and my integrity and sincerity are in question — it doesn't help that I talked about breaking marital vows when I voted for President Bill Clinton's impeachment in the 1990s. Help!

— Cried in Argentina

Dear Cried,

That's one bad case of post-coital tristesse you're dealing with. Since you've said you've ended it with the mistress and want to re-earn your wife's trust, your first step should be to stop bleating into the microphones about your clear desire for your girlfriend while making your wife sound like a loyal drudge. Also, stay away from the keyboard — no more erotic emails about Maria's curves. Although passion, as the poets have noted, can reduce even the most rectitudinous to fools, usually people do not call press conferences to display their love sickness. So it's time for you to act like an adult, attend to the issues of state, and say you don't have any more to say about your personal life (except for dealing with questions of lies you may have told your staff, or laws you may have broken when you disappeared). When you're with your wife, be apologetic, but don't grovel. Tell her why she's the love of your life (try to sound like you mean it), and say that you will dedicate yourself to re-earning her love and trust — and try not to go all weepy when the name "Maria" comes up.

Prudie

Dear Amy,

My relationship with my wife is "a total breakdown of everything" — as millions watch.

We've got this reality show with our eight kids — 5-year-old sextuplets and 8-year-old twins — and reports started circulating that both my wife and I were having affairs, I with a 23-year-old schoolteacher and my wife with her bodyguard. We've denied everything.

We announced our separation this week on camera. Can the show go on?

— Not-so-full House in Pennsylvania

Dear Not-so-full,

You and your wife have experienced a head-on collision, and because you were at the wheel, you're responsible for picking up the pieces. So do it. The first thing you both need to do is to get the cameras out of your living room; the other cameras will quickly move on. Then you should concentrate on doing the work required to become the parents your kids deserve to have. Everything you do from here on out should have their best interests at heart.