Mr. 20 Cents' Tip: Is such a slam ever acceptable?

Once again, questionable behavior and social media collide. The 20-cent tip by Eagles running back LeSean McCoy on a $61 check at a Philadelphia restaurant brings up many manners questions:

Is it ever acceptable to leave a miserly tip like that?

Is it proper etiquette for a restaurant owner to post the incident on Facebook?

Tips are to reward good service, but we all know that those dollars make up a good portion of the server's income. A 15 to 20 percent tip for good service is acceptable and a little extra for exceptional service is even better. Less than a 10 percent tip just shouldn't happen.

What is the best reaction to poor service (and remember, service is in the eye of the beholder; we all have different standards)? I would say politely tell management and leave a 10 percent tip. The best solution would be if restaurant owners incorporated tips into the prices and paid the wait staff a good wage. I tend to tip well because I think people work hard and deserve it.

Then there is the question of humiliating people on social media. Back in the early 1980s, I used to go to a restaurant in Minneapolis that took any bounced checks (yes, there was a time when restaurants took checks) and taped them to the glass counter in front of the dining room. But in those days the humiliation was limited to a few hundred people. Now it can be a few million. I say that makes it bad form.

I get some questions by e-mail, some by phone, and occasionally across a table at a church buffet:

Question: When can you eat fruit with your fingers and when should you use a fork?

- Neal in NJ

Answer: This one was a puzzle for me. Of course, fruit salad must be eaten with a fork, and messy pineapple requires a utensil as well. But what about apple slices? Fortunately, Deramus Maffett, banquet manager at Loews Philadelphia Hotel, gave me a good rule of thumb: "The correct way with anything is a fork. If the fruit is cut, use a fork." If it's a banana, you may peel and eat, or a whole apple or orange you can use your fingers. But if it's cut, reach for the fork. Less sticky and better etiquette.

Q: When I text colleagues and some of the people I supervise at work, some of them reply "yup." Is this an acceptable reply?

- Rick in PA

A: "Yup," "K," and "okey-dokey" are not the way professionals should answer e-mails or texts. "Yes" or even "will do" are short and polite.

Q: My friends and I are invited to a wedding where attire is "mountain elegant." A few people think that means jeans are acceptable. I don't think jeans are ever right for a wedding. What do you think?

- Ann in NJ

A: I agree with you that jeans are never right for a wedding unless the hosts say, "Wear your favorite jeans." I love the phrase mountain elegant, but I think it requires some explanation for the confused guests. Guests want guidance. Even when you are going to someone's home for dinner, it's nice when the host says, "It's very casual, shorts are fine," or "We are dressing up tonight for a formal gathering." If I saw "mountain elegant," I'd go with a dress and cowboy boots, but I'd be embarrassed if I arrived and everyone else was just in "elegant."

I will let a reader have the last word on how to deal with irritating habits a coworker may have, including smelly lunches, loud gum-chewing, or knuckle-cracking:

I enjoy reading your Sunday column, however I felt I must take issue with the response dealing with an annoying coworker. The suggestion was to speak to Human Resources, which would be able to "handle the minor irritation." As a retired member of a Human Resource office, I would suggest that the individual who wrote, "Think how you would like to be treated," might have a much better suggestion. If you were the individual with the "annoying" habit, would you like being called to the HR office to discuss the issue? HR may be tactful, but the individual in question still feels awkward.

We teach kindergarten children to "use their words" if there is an issue with a peer. Perhaps adults would benefit from similar advice. HR provides a valuable service, but I would suggest it might be better used for slightly more serious issues in the work setting.

- JK in NJ