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Puff, the magic funding

Christine Carlson is a public school parent and founder of the Greater Center City Neighborhood Schools Coalition I grew up in a household of smokers and looked forward to the time when I would be old enough to join their sophisticated ranks.

Christine Carlson

is a public school parent and founder of the Greater Center City Neighborhood Schools Coalition

I grew up in a household of smokers and looked forward to the time when I would be old enough to join their sophisticated ranks.

I made my smoking debut at a family gathering not long after my high school graduation. Reaching across a table, I snagged one of my sister's cigarettes, puffed, and slowly blew out a stream of smoke, an image of supercool big-screen icon Bette Davis in my mind.

My entire family stared at me and then erupted in laughter. Red faced, I stubbed out the cigarette and decided smoking wasn't for me.

But now I'm having second thoughts because if the Pennsylvania legislature finally gets around to approving an additional $2-a-pack tax to fund Philadelphia's public schools, I just might be tempted to light up once more.

For months, there has been pressure on the legislature to determine whether the city may collect an additional cigarette tax to fund the School District. This cigarette tax won't solve the overall problem of inadequate funding, but as of now its approval is seen as the only thing that will keep the district adequately staffed to remain open for the rest of the school year.

Logically, one would think that a higher cigarette tax would encourage smokers to cut back or quit altogether. But if this tax generated revenue for desperately underfunded schools, wouldn't it make sense for public education advocates to encourage more people to buy cigarettes?

Think about it: $2 to schools for every pack of cigarettes sold. Every pack-a-day smoker would generate $730 a year for schools. Forget those bake sales that raise paltry pennies. Forget the Box Tops for Education that so many of us clip for a measly 10 cents each. Cigarettes are where the money is.

To encourage this trend, we should allow smoking in public buildings again, including providing ashtrays in teachers' lunchrooms.

Instead of looking quizzically at the smokers huddled outside their office buildings in 20-degree weather, we could walk by, offer a high-five, and shout: Thanks for supporting our schools!

And if I were to light up again in front of my now nonsmoking family, I could stifle any laughter by looking them in the eye with pride and saying, "It's for the kids!"

I've heard that Big Tobacco is fighting this tax, but that doesn't make any sense. Good businesspeople that they are, they should realize that this initiative could help them add more people to the dwindling ranks of smokers. If this habit will allow our kids to receive a better education, why wouldn't we encourage its proliferation?

And why stop with promoting the use of the product?

Currently, my children's school has a garden where they grow native fruits and herbs. Perhaps they should start planting tobacco. That way they can be involved in the cigarette-making process from the very beginning.

And while we're talking about plants, shouldn't the legislature next move on legalizing marijuana and tax that as well for the benefit of our schoolchildren? Suddenly that boring school bake sale would have unlimited potential!

Yes, we've entered the Twilight Zone of Philadelphia school funding, where we pit good health against an adequate education for children.

The sad fact is that the funding to be generated by a cigarette tax is the only remaining avenue for new revenue that the city or state would allow.

The politicians in Harrisburg have consistently said that Philadelphia must do more to fund the education of its students. Here's a chance for us to comply with this directive. Let Philly tax itself and put another drop in the bucket for our dismally underfunded School District.