Pennsylvania's extended role on the primary stage is over. After seven weeks of being "Iowa on steroids," as the state Democratic chairman put it, we can go back to what we were - Michigan on statins.

It's safe to go bowling again without fear of encountering a camera crew recording Barack Obama's gutter balls.

You can walk in Center City again without being accosted by a clipboard-toting volunteer who wants to register you to vote. (And how come African American volunteers never asked me? Is it because I look like I should be milking a cow in Lancaster County?)

You can climb back up on your stool at the Misconduct Tavern without worrying that Hillary Clinton will drop in unannounced, entourage in tow. Those photos of her in an Indiana bar, drinking a shot of whiskey and a mug of beer, were obviously pandering to Pennsylvania voters.

Her message: I am the kind of candidate who, after reading a briefing book on the uninsured, likes to throw on a pantsuit and a tasteful necklace, wander into a dingy tavern, sip a shot of Crown Royal tentatively, followed by a hearty gulp of an oddly frothy beverage that repeats on me long after I've collapsed into bed at the Ritz-Carlton in another time zone. And don't forget, that Obama fellow is elitist. Urp.

Not that Obama came across as a regular guy, either. Besides bowling in a tie, there was that duck-blind business. The duck-blind business was the hilarious sequel to the bitterness business. Asked by a supporter in San Francisco what to expect when he knocked on doors in Pennsylvania, Obama said small-town folks here cling to guns and religion because they are bitter about the government's unkept promises.

Of course, that wasn't what he meant! His advisers are still working feverishly on what he meant. But Clinton stopped slurping Jell-O shots long enough to accuse Obama of insulting sportsmen. Then Obama got annoyed.

"She's talking like she's Annie Oakley!" Obama said. "Hillary Clinton's out there like she's on the duck blind every Sunday, she's packin' a six shooter!"

Now sportsmen were offended, or at least greatly amused. As any true sportsman knows, the state game and wildlife code prohibits hunting on Sunday, unless you are hunting foxes or coyotes, or are engaged in "any hunting which occurs on noncommercial regulated hunting grounds holding a valid permit under section 2928(b)(2)."

Section 2928(b)(2) does allow duck hunting. But it warns sportsmen and presidential candidates not to "consume on the premises . . . ducks killed in accordance with the provisions of this section which have not been tagged." I'm getting this image of Dick Cheney with feathers in his teeth.

Also, sportsmen would tell Obama that a six shooter is not the most effective gun for hunting ducks. Those mallards flying overhead would not be quacking, they'd be laughing at you.

What else did we learn from our rare springtime of primary relevance? We learned that Hillary cannot tell the difference between the sound of gunshots and the absence of gunshots (Bosnia). So I'm not sure I'd want to be sitting next to her in a duck blind.

We learned that ABC News anchor Charles Gibson is a little rusty on the Constitution. During the debate at the National Constitution Center, Gibson informed the candidates that Article II, Section 1 of the Constitution states that after choosing the president, "the person having the greatest number of votes of the electors shall be the vice president." This was true until 1804, when they changed the Constitution.

Maybe that's why Obama looked so confused when Gibson asked if his health-care plan would cover "bloodletting by leeches" or treatment of "bilious fever."

Other things that happened in 1804: New Jersey abolished slavery, and ABC's timeless Barbara Walters got the coveted interview with Aaron Burr after he killed Alexander Hamilton in a duel.

The candidates and the media horde are off now to North Carolina and Indiana. But the carnival will return in the fall. Pennsylvania is a swing state, after all.

Until then, bowl and drink as you were.