Hey, kids! Buddy the elf is back with deep thoughts on 2017 | Opinion
Yes, Virginia, our mayor dresses up in gold tights and a green velvet jacket once a year. At least we hope it's just once a year.
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Last year, we scored an exclusive interview with Buddy the Elf, the holiday cheer-infused alter ego of the typically less-than-joyful Mayor Kenney.
(Yes, Virginia, our mayor dresses up in gold tights and a green velvet jacket once a year. At least we hope it's just once a year.)
A lot has happened — naughty and nice — in the last year. So we checked in on Buddy for a few fresh answers to our queries.
Question: Is it really possible to treat every day like Christmas?
Answer: Yes, by being kind to people, and looking for the best in people and not the worst.
Q: Is there really room for everyone on the nice list? Isn't the world more interesting when the naughty list is well-stocked?
A: There's no room for Donald Trump on the nice list. Donald Trump is an angry elf.
Q: Do you really think the best way to spread Christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear?
A: Abso-f–ing-lutely. This year we need to sing more loudly to drown out the hate. I just watched the clip of Elf where they sing at the end to power the sleigh. I had to stop — it makes me cry.
Q: Whom have you encountered this year who is currently on the naughty list but can be rescued with some Christmas spirit?
A: I think it's too late. Either you've been good or you've been bad.
Q: Whom have you met this year who needs more than one year to work their way off the naughty list?
A: Last year, it was Nelson Agholor. But he's off the naughty list. He's on the super-nice list now.
Q: Is it a good idea to chew used gum that you find on the street?
A: No.
Q: Did you learn that from experience?
A: Yes. Actually, used gum from under the church pew at Our Lady of Mount Carmel.
Q: A fake Santa is said to "sit on the throne of lies." Do you know any non-fake Santas — say, in the world of politics — who are in a similar position?
A: Trump and his angry elf Jeff Sessions
Q: Do you want to comment on the width of the seat for that throne of lies?
A: Skinny butts can be as angry and nasty as big butts.
Q: Are the four elf main food groups really candy, candy canes, candy corn, and syrup?
A: There's a fifth — cheesesteaks.
Q: Have you ever stood on the beach in North Wildwood and mistaken the Atlantic Ocean for the Sea of Swirly Twirly Gum Drops?
A: Last year was Margate. It's now Longport.
Q: Have you ever been referred to as an angry elf?
A: Yes by other angry elves.
Q: Do you communicate primarily through the Etch-a-Sketch, and is that an effective form of communication?
A: It's always better than Twitter.
Q: According to Mental Floss magazine, the movie "Elf" is the most popular holiday movie in northern states like Pennsylvania, while the movie "Home Alone" is the most popular holiday movie in southern states like Florida, Georgia, Louisiana, and Texas. What is wrong with Southern states?
A: If they keep defeating the likes of Roy Moore, then nothing is wrong with them
Q: Quick hits: Are these people naughty or nice?
Donald Trump: Naughty.
Vladimir Putin: Russian for naughty – look it up.
Hillary Clinton: Nice
Gov. Wolf: Very nice.
State Sen. Scott Wagner: Naughty.
Former District Attorney Seth Williams: Naughty.
City Council President Darrell Clarke: Nice.
John Dougherty: Nice.
Q: What's the current reading on your Claus-o-meter of Christmas spirit?
A: Yesterday was a 2. Today is a 9. Being Buddy is pretty fun.
Q: Is the song "Baby, It's Cold Outside" really charming or really creepy?
A: Really creepy.