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No way to treat women

Like Aida Guzman, I'm still waiting to hear an apology. There's simply no plausible reason that former Philadelphia Police Lt. Jonathan Josey couldn't offer one all these months after his infamous actions, and weeks since that debacle of a trial.

Like Aida Guzman, I'm still waiting to hear an apology.

There's simply no plausible reason that former Philadelphia Police Lt. Jonathan Josey couldn't offer one all these months after his infamous actions, and weeks since that debacle of a trial.

As disgusting as his behavior was on Sept. 30, the miscarriage of justice and misapplication of power continued on March 5 with Municipal Court Judge Patrick Dugan's acquittal of Josey on assault charges. The entire affair speaks volumes about how women, particularly women of color, are treated in Philadelphia.

National studies note that black and brown women fall victim to domestic violence and sexual assault at greater numbers than other women. The city's domestic-abuse hotline reports that nearly half of all calls are placed by or on behalf of abused black women. Countless others live in terror, simply too afraid to reach out for help, too fearful of the consequences if they're not believed - or if they're caught "telling."

Those fears are reinforced when a cop goes free after he hits a woman on the street in the middle of the Puerto Rican Day Parade. Josey's acquittal speaks to those young men in sagging pants who think it's OK to slap around their wives, their girlfriends, and their children's mothers.

Now such a man can feel even more justified when a woman won't let him see his kids on a given day. Or makes him angry. Or doesn't jump when he says so.

The acquittal feeds a culture that we have cultivated for too long, one whose inevitable harvest is continued violence and devastation of families and communities. That's clear from daily headlines - as well as the police reports that escape media attention. This culture doesn't bode well for our city - or our daughters.

The truth is we're failing to connect the dots. Susan B. Carbon, who heads the Office on Violence Against Women for the U.S. Department of Justice, reported that one in four women has experienced severe physical violence by a current or former partner. In 2009 alone, one in 10 high school girls was physically hurt on purpose by a boyfriend or girlfriend.

That type of behavior becomes codified when someone who has been entrusted with the highest level of protective authority is allowed to hit a woman, with a judge saying the action didn't rise to the level of a crime. And believe me, men and women, young and old alike, are getting the message.

As a young man, I was fortunate to have a role model in my dad, who by profession and passion was a hero to many. But a lot of days, he was out helping others, so it was my hero mom who offered me as many lessons, if not more, on what it means to be a man. Chief among those lessons was how you are to treat women.

As a father of two daughters, I am hurt by every story and statistic I read about violence against women. What hurts even more is being the son of a mother who has lived to see disrespectful treatment toward women become the norm.

As men, we have a responsibility to talk with one another about this issue honestly and openly. For black men, that conversation is even more urgently needed.

Being respectful doesn't make you weaker. It makes you stronger. And strong men know that when they've done wrong, one of the first things they need to do is apologize.

Aida Guzman, like the rest of us, is still waiting for an apology.