A soldier learns he fought the wrong war

By Shannon P. Meehan

My initial reaction to the news of Osama bin Laden's death last week was similar to that of many Americans: relief, pride in our country and those serving it, and a sense of closure for those who lost loved ones on that September day many years ago. But I also have other, more troubling feelings that linger.

As a veteran who was injured in combat in Iraq, I wanted to feel a sense of accomplishment and finality. I wanted to feel that bin Laden's death demonstrated the worth of my sacrifice. But I couldn't. And somehow I felt I was on the outside of all of this.

As I sifted through the reactions of my friends on social networks, I read comments like, "Great news. If only we hadn't gotten off course with Iraq for so long," or, "Could have gotten him earlier if we hadn't wasted our time in the illegal war in Iraq."

Reading such comments made me realize just how disconnected I was from the killing of bin Laden. The more I reflect on it, the less I feel part of it or of the war against terrorism, at least in the public's eye.

My war - the Iraq war - is being remembered as quite different from the "war on terror." Its narrative, as shaped by the media and the public, breaks dramatically from that of the war in Afghanistan and the pursuit of terrorists around the globe.

The Iraq war has become the mistaken war, the one that so many Americans believe we never should have waged. I have come to realize that, regardless of my personal beliefs and opinions, this is how the Iraq war will be remembered - as an unfortunate error increasingly divorced from the country's valiant fight against terrorism.

This, in turn, brings me to question myself, my efforts, and my worth. How will my and others' achievements and sacrifices in Iraq be remembered? Will all that we did while serving amount to nothing more than a mistake?

The more I travel and speak about my experiences, the more I sense that the cultural memory of this war is shifting and devolving over time. Rather than thanks for helping to keep the country safe from terrorism, I get appreciation mixed with pity for having fought in an "illegal" war, as many refer to it.

Soldiers like me will be remembered not only for being in the wrong war, but also for fighting to bring the wrong man to justice. The difference between the falls of Osama bin Laden and Saddam Hussein - the figureheads of the two wars - is telling. The death of Saddam, a man responsible for the deaths of American soldiers and many others, as well as years of systematic oppression and degradation of his country, was greeted with controversy. Despite the debate over some of the issues surrounding the death of bin Laden, a man who dared to bring horrific violence to the shores of our country, the killing itself was not as controversial.

So as much as I want to feel a special connection to this moment, I don't. As an Iraq veteran, I'm not entitled to. My body braces and hearing aids - all my physical, mental, and emotional pain - are reminders that my greatest "achievement" in life will be remembered as a mistake. I feel like a dying man who fought in a dying war.