Movin'? Yeah. Groovin'? Yeah.

Whatever-James-said-after-that? Yeah.

At the ripe old age of 3, Little Solomon has captured the crown of Pesky Brother No. 1 due to his remarkable penchant for torturing his 6-year-old sister, Eve.

He hides under her bed and scares her at nap time. He hits her when we turn our backs. And if she uses her size advantage to retaliate, he runs to us and plays victim.

Had I not seen Eve abuse him when he was smaller, I would be disturbed by Little Solomon's behavior. Since I did witness Eve's shenanigans, however, I can understand the boy's desire for revenge.

Eve was a merciless tattletale who ignored the old axiom "Snitches get stitches." If Little Solomon awakened too early, she snitched. If he made noise at bedtime, she snitched. If he tried to get in a word edgewise, she snitched.

She was bigger. She was faster. She was stronger. Sort of like the Bionic Woman, only without the low ratings.

Of course, Little Solomon is a superhero in his own right. He's watched the Spiderman trilogy and prayed for spiderwebs of his own. He's tied a blanket around his shoulders and demanded that we fly him around while humming the Superman theme. He's done somersaults on our bed dressed only in superhero briefs.

Though Eve is hesitant to roam the house dressed in her underwear like the boy, she plays the superhero quite well. Her Bionic Woman is not as powerful as Little Solomon's Super-Spiderman. But whenever she fights him on her own terms, her guile gives her the edge. At least that's what I used to think.

In order to understand what I'm about to share, you must know that Eve values Disney star Corbin Bleu above all else. Ever since she learned - from the kissin' teens on "High School Musical," no doubt - that girls should have boyfriends at some point, she's been trying to find one of her own.

First it was an imaginary boy named Poo Poo, who lived in Florida and didn't have a car. Then there was R&B singer Charlie Wilson, who is nearly old enough to be my father. About a year ago, she settled on Corbin, the man of her dreams.

We all responded to the relationship differently.

LaVeta bought Eve a Corbin Bleu CD for Christmas. I put Corbin on my "Don't-touch-my-daughter" watch list. A cousin bought Eve a Corbin Bleu pinup to go on her door. Little Solomon did nothing. Until last Wednesday.

While I was at work, the boy pulled a diabolical and heartless prank that could only be executed by Pesky Brother No. 1.

He waited until Eve went to school to conduct reconnaissance in her room. He ignored her piggy bank, Bratz dolls and stuffed animals in favor of a specific piece of loot. When he found it on her door, he pounced.

Ripping Eve's Corbin poster from the wall, he sat on the floor and methodically tore it into four pieces. By the time LaVeta spotted him, it was too late. Corbin Bleu was Torn-and-Blue.

LAVETA WENT into rescue mode.

She yelled at the boy for tearing the poster, hid Corbin's remains in the kitchen and hoped Eve wouldn't spot the damage when she came home.

Little Solomon had other plans. When Eve got home, he pulled the tattered poster from behind the sugar canister, and with Psycho music blaring in the background, showed his treacherous handiwork to his sister.

Before Eve could go into Bionic Woman mode, LaVeta grabbed the picture and taped it back together. As she did so, Little Solomon sat nearby, probably planning his next caper as Pesky Brother No. 1.

Movin'? Yeah. Groovin'? Yeah.

Tearin' up his sister's stuff?

Oh, yeah. *

Solomon Jones appears every Saturday. He can be reached at

info@solomonjones.com.