John Decker, 30, analyst and athlete who battled addiction

John Decker, 30, of Gladwyne, a gifted athlete, financial analyst, and loyal friend whose smile "was second to none," died Saturday, Jan. 16, at home.

Thomas A. "Tad" and M. Candace Decker found their son unresponsive when they returned home from a trip.

The Montgomery County Coroner's Office listed the cause of death as pending while tests were underway. Test results were expected in several weeks.

But Mr. Decker's father, vice chairman of the Cozen O'Connor law firm, said he believed his son died of an accidental drug overdose, as he grappled with heroin addiction.

Mr. Decker had injured his knee playing pickup basketball as a teenager and had undergone multiple surgical repairs on his ACL, or anterior cruciate ligament. After one of the operations, he was prescribed OxyContin for pain, and became hooked on the pain pills, his father said.

"He moved on to cheaper and more accessible stuff," heroin, his father said. "He went to drug rehab twice, and he told us he wasn't going back again. We thought that he was trying to control it, but he wasn't able to."

"What bothers me the most is the total waste of a kid who affected so many people positively," his father said.

Born at Lankenau Hospital and reared in the East Falls section of Philadelphia until he was 8, Mr. Decker moved with his family to the Main Line.

He graduated from the Haverford School and earned a bachelor's degree in government from Cornell University's School of Arts and Sciences in January 2010.

While at Haverford School, Mr. Decker, a 6-foot-2, 190-pound defender, was a three-year letter-winner in lacrosse. A versatile athlete, he also lettered once in basketball, earning team MVP honors, and three times in football.

"He caught four touchdowns in one game in 2003, and was probably one of the most gifted athletes I had the pleasure of coaching," said John Nostrant, Haverford School athletic director. "He was very good at everything he did."

According to sportswriter Ted Silary, Mr. Decker's four touchdown receptions as a junior in a 27-20 nonleague win over Great Valley tied the city record for TD receptions in a single game at that time.

Mr. Decker was accustomed to facing down obstacles. As part of the Haverford football squad that went 0-9 in 2002, he remained undaunted, encouraging team captain Greg Murray to focus on the positive.

"As a captain you take a lot of blame, but John always reminded me to keep my head up," Murray said in an email. "He always made a point to mention to me my toughness and how he looked up to me as leader.

"John's smile was second to none. And John as a person was as good as they come," Murray wrote.

As a Haverford School senior, Mr. Decker sat out the lacrosse season with a knee injury.

He played in four lacrosse games as a freshman at Cornell but was sidelined with the injury his sophomore and junior years. He returned to the field as a senior and registered his first collegiate point with an assist in a game against Hobart College.

After college, Mr. Decker worked as an analyst for Public Financial Management from 2010 to 2012, and then joined Internet Capital Group, now Actua, in Radnor.

Actua managing director John Loftus said in an email that as an employee, Mr. Decker "was a gentleman who never said a negative word and was always excited to be on a new project."

And he was great fun to have around the office.

Loftus relished Mr. Decker's Monday morning briefings on how the Eagles and Phillies were doing; the 4 p.m. trolling of the office kitchen for something to eat; and Mr. Decker's accounts of dating, playing golf, and coaching basketball at the Gesu School in North Philadelphia.

"He had a huge empathy for athletes, and while I never saw him coach, I bet he had a talent for leadership and instruction," Loftus wrote.

Bryan Carter, the Gesu School president, said that two years ago, Mr. Decker volunteered as assistant coach of the varsity basketball team. He never missed a practice or a game.

"He had a special connection with our boys, and they trusted him," Carter said.

His father said that besides athletics, Mr. Decker had a passion for movies and music. He volunteered with the YMCA of Philadelphia and Vicinity.

"John was very intelligent, outgoing, kind, mannerly, handsome, with an acute but dry sense of humor," his father said. "He truly lit up any room he entered. He was happy and content most of his life - loving and loved."

Although Mr. Decker had been in a relationship, he never married. He and his girlfriend had broken up after four years because of conflict over his addiction, his father said.

In September 2014, Mr. Decker was pulled over by Lower Merion police and charged with driving under the influence of a controlled substance. He was to have had a hearing in March as part of a special court-sponsored program for first-time offenders.

His father said the family hoped that by shining a public light on Mr. Decker's story, others might be spared the loss of an addicted family member.

Given the benefit of hindsight, Mr. Decker's father said he would counsel those in his family's position to seek help right away.

"You can't fix it yourself," he said. "You can't do it for them. It's important for them to address the addiction as soon as possible. The longer it goes on, the worse it gets."

"We're not hiding from the fact that the addiction killed him," his father said. "John was a well-known kid in this area, and if we can tell his story, maybe it will save one person. If it does, it will be worth it."

Besides his father and mother, Mr. Decker is survived by a sister, Samantha.

A visitation from 9 to 10:30 a.m. Monday, Feb. 1, at St. Colman's Church, 11 Simpson Rd., Ardmore, will be followed by a Memorial Mass at 10:30 a.m. at the church. Interment is private.

Donations may be made to Gesu School, 1700 W. Thompson St., Philadelphia, Pa. 19121, or via www.gesuschool.org/make_a_donation.

Donations may also be made to the Chris Atwood Foundation for Addiction Treatment, Advocacy and Education (the John Decker Memorial Fund), P.O. Box 9282, Reston, Va. 20190, or via www.chrisatwoodfoundation.org/#!donate/c1ghi

bcook@phillynews.com

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