Kay Deming Graham, 73, union negotiator and Peace Corps veteran

KAY DEMING didn't fit too well in the conservative atmosphere of Louisiana when she was growing up.

She was just a bit too liberal for the South. But instead of moving north, she took off for Santo Domingo, Dominican Republic, moved by the "winds of change," as her family put it.

Kay spent two years in the Peace Corps in Barrio Simon Bolivar in Santo Domingo, where she taught English and helped open a neighborhood health clinic.

Kay Deming Graham, as she became after marrying Jeffrey Graham in 1977, was a labor organizer whose emphasis was always on education and health care. She died Aug. 14 of natural causes. She was 73 and lived in Germantown.

Kay's life was devoted to helping people. From the barrios of Santo Domingo to the streets of Philadelphia, wherever people needed a boost or the answers to problems, Kay was there.

She was in Santo Domingo when warfare broke out after the death of the dictator, Rafael Leonidas Trujillo Modina. When U.S. President Lyndon Johnson sent in American troops in 1965 to restore order, Kay was airlifted to Puerto Rico.

But she stubbornly insisted on returning when order was restored. And she did.

After the Peace Corps, Kay, who was born in Houston, moved to Philadelphia, where she became a social worker. This work often took her into some dangerous city neighborhoods where she met with gang leaders and their mothers to help keep the peace.

She then became an organizer for the Pennsylvania Social Services Union, Pennsylvania State Education Association and the Pennsylvania Nurses Association.

She dealt with labor problems, including contract disputes. After being involved in some labor negotiations involving Temple University employees, Temple hired her as an arbitrator.

"They knew that from her work with unions, she understood both sides of the issues," said her husband.

An advantage Kay had in labor disputes was that she spoke Spanish. Latino workers soon found out that they couldn't talk about her in Spanish.

"She was a tough negotiator," her husband said. "She was nobody's fool, nobody's pushover. But she had a sense of humor. She could be very funny."

Because of her association with Temple, both Kay and her husband got reduced tuition and took advantage of it. She received a master's degree in public policy. Her husband took a degree in international business and finance.

One of Kay's most satisfying jobs was working with the training program conducted by Henry Nicholas' District 1199C of the National Union of Health Care Employees.

The program provides job training and upgrading in the health-care field. It has often helped disadvantaged people, many of whom come to the program in desperation, having faced rejection in other efforts to find work.

It was like Kay Graham to be involved in a program that helped people find their way in an often uncaring world.

"She was a strong woman," said her son, Charles. "Very caring and generous. She would really give you the shirt off her back."

Kay was born to Joseph Deming and the former Elizabeth Khouri. Shortly thereafter, the family moved to Bakersfield, Calif., where her father worked as a petroleum engineer. Her parents split up when she was in fifth grade, and she moved to St. Louis, where her grandfather, Martin Khouri, was the team doctor for the St. Louis Cardinals, in the era of Stan Musial.

Kay attended high school in Shreveport, La., and went to Louisiana State University, earning a degree in speech pathology.

She and her husband met at Einstein Medical Center, where she was representing nurses and he was a technician. They married in 1977 "She was a great humanitarian," her husband said. "It was great to have been married to her."

Besides her husband and son, she is survived by a sister, Lynette Deming Johnson, and a brother, Dave Deming.

Services: 10 a.m. tomorrow at the Emmanuel Johnson Funeral Home, 6653 Chew Ave. Friends may call at 9 a.m.