Pre-Miss America festivities nearing conclusion

ATLANTIC CITY - If the pageant is still here, then Atlantic City must be, too. Right?

Or is it the other way around?

At this precarious moment in the life span of both cultural touchstones, it seems, however unlikely, that the Miss America Pageant might have a little more momentum than its ancestral and current home port, the always lovably edge-of-cliff, still bellying up to the tables, Atlantic City. In a social media world, Miss America can still trend.

Even the once-disgraced Vanessa Williams - who long ago established that Miss America needed her more than she needed it - wants back in, returning as head judge in Sunday's pageant (9 p.m., 6ABC).

Williams' return created some retro Miss A controversy, never bad for ratings, as TMZ reported Friday that she and the pageant were at an "impasse" over who would apologize - one, both or neither - before a fresh crown is bestowed at the show's start.

Earlier in the week, Williams tweeted a photo of her crown in its box and noted that while she had resigned after unauthorized nude photos were published in Penthouse, she still in fact has her crown. As they say (and hope that you will), stay tuned.

Nick Jonas also wants in. He scored the music, selecting Fifth Harmony's "Worth It" to accompany the sleek, stilettoed, spray-tan-sponsored swimsuit (fitness) competition that shows off, at the very least, Miss America's uneasy balance of values.

Just ask Miss Alabama, Meg McGuffin, whose spitting-into-the-wind platform of "Healthy Is the New Skinny" seemed, at best, an uphill battle. On stage at Boardwalk Hall, skinny was still the skinny, though many contestants could show off muscles and former Miss A Nina Davuluri insisted, "It's not about being size 0."

Give Miss Alabama credit, she's not preaching to the choir on that stage.

More retro: Bert Parks' voice will be back, after a five-year hiatus due to a fight with the estate of the man who wrote "There She Is, Miss America," the iconic song Parks first sang in 1955 to serenade the newly crowned Miss America.

Sam Haskell, head of the Miss America Organization, announced Thursday night that a recording of Parks would again accompany the runway walk.

Haskell has taken firm control of the reins. In a speech that erupted with brimstone like the foamy concoction that gurgled and spewed out of Miss Vermont's test tubes during her weirdly fun "dramatic science experiment" talent presentation, the complicated underpinnings of the pageant burst forth at length from him.

It's a newly retrenched organization, back in Atlantic City from lonely office-park headquarters in Linwood, acknowledging what comedian-investigator John Oliver uncovered last year: that scholarship claims were misleadingly exaggerated. They said that this year, nearly $6 million had been awarded, down from $45 million claimed as "available."

Haskell, never one to gloss over past missteps by others, noted on stage that no longer was the nearly bankrupt organization borrowing from scholarship money to pay bills. And he mocked the years when the show wandered around the cable desert before returning home to ABC, let alone to Atlantic City from Las Vegas, which could barely feign interest in the thing.

Clearly, neither the pageant nor its ancestral home is swimming in dough ("Give it to me, I'm worth it, know what I mean?" from the swimsuit song could work for broke A.C., too.). But that's never stopped either from committing to the task at hand: looking good.

So with a nod to the two Misses named Destiny (Puerto Rico and Maryland), here is the third annual (since they returned to A.C. and we could care again) Miss America scouting report.

Outliers. The outliers are always fun, even if they have almost no chance of showing up on your screen in a meaningful way Sunday. Take Miss Vermont, Alayna Westcom, who donned her best scientist dress and did that live "dramatic science experiment" Thursday as talent. Made to go last, to guard against mess, she gave Night Three its only suspense, with the big tarp under the science table. She mixed hydrogen peroxide with potassium iodine, and it satisfyingly shot into the air and changed into thick blobby foam. Westcom, 24, works in the Vermont medical examiner's office.

Miss Wisconsin Rosalie Smith introduced herself during preliminaries as being from the Dairy State, and invited the audience to "come smell our dairy ... air." Get it? Derriere? An off-color kind of gross joke, she stuck with it into night three of prelims. Remains to be seen if she'll do it Sunday, but with pixie-cut hair (Miss Kentucky, Clark Janell Davis, also has a close crop), she stood out for being less focus-group tested than your typical Miss A.

Presidential echoes. With all roads leading to the Iowa caucuses, Miss Iowa, Taylor Wiebers, took a commanding lead into Sunday, winning preliminary talent Tuesday and swimsuit Thursday. A potent double winner - the prelim wins add points to totals that determine 15 finalists - she's likely to advance, but there's precedent for double prelim winners both winning it all and going no further.

Miss D.C., Haely Jardas, a dead ringer for redhead presidential press secretary Abby Whelan on Scandal (also ABC), who is very well spoken, announced her candidacy during the preliminary introductions. Watch for her.

Echoes of Vanessa Williams. Miss Oklahoma, who in fine Abbott and Costello tradition is named Georgia (Frazier), sang Barbra Streisand's "Happy Days Are Here Again," which Williams sang when she won in 1983. A bold move, as she couldn't have known Williams would be back.

Frazier's dad is former Yankees pitcher George Frazier, who once lost three games during a best-of-seven playoff. Perhaps it's time to change the family narrative, Georgia, um, Oklahoma. Miss Georgia, meanwhile, Betty Cantrell, won a talent prelim.

Sad stories. Platforms this year seem tied in many cases to sad childhood sagas: cancer, eye disease, bullying, depression, sibling deaths and addictions. (The formidable Miss New Jersey, Lindsey Giannini, from Hammonton, won the $6,000 Quality of Life award for her work on distracted driving.) Asked for fun facts about themselves, Miss New Mexico said "went to prom solo," Miss Indiana said her skull had been reshaped, Miss Georgia said she grew up without cable. Sad emoji!

More local ties. Miss Delaware, Milford's Brooke Mitchell, caught the eye of pageant guru Chris Saltalamacchio, who tweeted a "gown fave" and talent buzz. Miss Pennsylvania, Ashley Schmider of Pittsburgh, sensibly wearing wedge heels for swimsuit, also got a Pageant Chris nod for swimsuit and "unique look."

Who will win. Miss South Carolina Daja Dial, who won a swimsuit prelim, spoke eloquently about the Confederate flag controversy during her state pageant, and, as evidenced by last year's winner, red-Solo-cup playing Kira Kazantsev, continues the Miss America infatuation with winners who have alliterative names.

Finalists: Iowa, Oklahoma, New Jersey, D.C., Georgia, Louisiana, Texas, Colorado, West Virginia, Maryland, Alabama, Montana, Wisconsin, Florida.