With Fantastic Friends, sister helps her twin brother and many more

Four years ago, on the day before their 15th birthday, Marissa Hacker was heartbroken to find her autistic twin brother, Matthew, crying, because, he said, no one wanted to be his friend.

Marissa put her arms around him and told him not to worry. She was going to start a group, and he would have lots of friends.

"I always had the idea, but that was the driving force," said Marissa, now 18, a Voorhees resident and Stockton University student. "I always had the spark, but that lit the spark."

Within a month, she had formed Fantastic Friends, a social group that brings special-needs tweens and teens together with neurotypical peers - people not on the autism spectrum - to do the kinds of things young people like to do. Friday will be their third prom - this year, a Candy Land-theme gala at the Mansion on Main Street in Voorhees. Matthew will be Marissa's date.

"I wanted to create an organization, Fantastic Friends, so I could help Matthew and others with special needs have a place where they could feel accepted, loved, and supported," said Marissa Hacker, as well as to teach others how to interact with and feel comfortable around special-needs peers.

Her idea has taken off - from about 30 people at the first meeting to up to 90 people now for their monthly activities. The prom is expected to draw about 200 people, mostly from South Jersey, but some from elsewhere in the state and Pennsylvania.

In addition to the local social group, she has started a chapter at Stockton to educate students about interacting with and advocating for people with disabilities. And she is working toward creating other social and educational Fantastic Friends groups elsewhere in the country. She has received awards and recognitions for her efforts, including an internship this summer in New York City with Autism Speaks.

From a very early age, her brother was her inspiration.

"Even when they were 2, she was always looking out for Matthew and other little kids," said her mother, Gerri, who along with the twins' father, Douglas, is supportive of Fantastic Friends.

When therapists came to the house to work with Matthew, instead of going to play, Marissa would watch and ask if she could help. Seeing a speech therapist help Matthew learn to say his first word - apple - at about age 3 helped inspire her own career choice. She is majoring in communication disorders.

When she was in the fourth grade, she would tote games and toys to school to play with children the other students were ignoring. She called it the Forever Friends Club.

"She always has been an advocate for kids with special needs," her mother said.

Dmitriy Prokopovich, a friend from Eastern Regional High School, where Marissa graduated and which Matthew attends, said she got him involved with Fantastic Friends. He, too, is now an advocate for special-needs people.

"They always seem excited. It always seems they go into something, and they pour their whole hearts out. I love that," said Prokopovich, 19, of Gibbsboro.

Max Newman, 21, a club member on the autism spectrum who attends Eastern, is up for the prom; he had his black suit and white shirt ready days ago.

He was looking forward to the dancing. A Bruce Springsteen fan, he is hoping to have a go at "Born to Run." And that was just part of it.

"There's going to be lots of candy," Max said. "I am excited."

Rachel Sabbath, 15, another Fantastic Friends member, was looking forward to "dancing, singing, having food, and going home."

A Cherry Hill High School West student, she's done many things with the club, such as going to Johnson's Corner Farm. She has met people she likes.

"Marissa is a really good person," she said.

Linda Newman, Max's mother, would be among the first to agree.

"She's one of my favorite people," she said. "She has done as a teenager what a lot of adults haven't stepped up to do."

Just a few years ago, there were few social outlets for young people with special needs. There are more now, including a club at Eastern and recreation programs at some of the Jewish organizations that he is involved in.

But Fantastic Friends is special in its own right, Linda Newman said. It's young people-driven and -centered, but it also introduces their parents and helps them to network.

"Fantastic Friends," Linda Newman said, "creates friends on many levels."

Matthew, who just four years ago was sad for the lack of friends, is looking forward this year to "dancing, eating, and hanging out with friends."

And his feelings about the club that was started because of him?

"I feel great," he said. "I feel happy."

His feelings about his sister are even more clear.

"I like her," he said. "I love her."