Love blooms late for two Philadelphia-area couples

Their second shot at true love came after retirement and grandchildren.

Charles E. Van Fossen, 84, and Edwina F. McMaster, 75, found each other after first marriages that had lasted 50 years ended with a partner's death.

Connie Kelly-Ross, 76, was divorced when she discovered widower Ron Ross, 79.

But the two couples so far have elected to go in opposite directions in their AARP years.

The Rosses got married. Van Fossen and McMaster will remain engaged for the foreseeable future.

"No, we're not getting married. Not unless he hits the lottery," said McMaster, of Roxborough. Then, she turned to Van Fossen and said, "Did you get your Powerball ticket?"

Romance after a certain age doesn't have to include a marriage license for what the engaged couple described as a stage of life at which there are more important things than a wedding date.

"At our age, we live each day to try to have enjoyment and not worry about the future," McMaster said.

Seniors may elect not to marry because signing a marriage license means complications that can involve the merger of bank accounts, estate planning, and what to do with individually owned real estate, said Holly Lange, senior vice president of the Philadelphia Corporation for Aging.

Additional concerns may involve the effect of marriage on military, pension, and Social Security survivors' benefits, said Karen C. Buck, executive director of the SeniorLAW Center in Philadelphia. But being married may be an advantage when health-care decisions need to be made about a spouse's care, Buck said.

Only 7.4 percent of men and 5.4 percent of women surveyed in the 2009 American Community Survey Report married at age 55 or older.

Ron Ross and Connie Kelly-Ross, of Ambler, took the plunge 17 years ago.

The couple met on a blind date set up by Kelly-Ross' daughter, Christine Tollok, and her husband, Ron.

"My kids were setting me up constantly, and I was running the other way," said Kelly-Ross, who is divorced from her first husband.

Kelly-Ross agreed to go on the date, but with a condition - her daughter and son-in-law had to come, too.

The foursome sat around a table at La Padella in the Northeast. Ross was then 62; Kelly-Ross, 58.

The couple started talking and a romance began.

Ross, a retired manager at Honeywell, eventually proposed about 20 times to no avail. Kelly-Ross was happy with the single life and a successful career as a real estate appraiser. She was hesitant. He was impatient.

"I was thinking, I'll go down to Florida where the odds are better," Ross said. "They're all using walkers, so it'll be easier to catch them."

Afraid of losing him, Kelly-Ross finally said yes.

They married on Nov. 11, 1995, and honeymooned in Hawaii.

"When you get married later, your reasons change. When you're young, there's more of a sex drive - and there's love, of course," Ross said.

"When you're older, you have experience and can talk about more," Ross said.

The issues that would have prompted an argument when he was younger now don't matter, Ross said. So what if the lights stay on all night.

For Van Fossen and McMaster, engagement and separate residences are OK for now.

They met in 2008, when they were both regulars at the Center at Journey's Way in Roxborough.

McMaster had been selected as queen of the senior center's Mardi Gras parade and needed a king.

Van Fossen volunteered at the center's front desk. McMaster liked his friendly face, so she asked him to be her king. Van Fossen said yes.

The parade through the center's lunchroom that followed was the beginning of a romantic procession that would go from first kiss to engagement.

Their betrothal is marked by the rings they exchanged. Van Fossen wears the gold band that once belonged to McMaster's deceased husband. McMaster wears an Irish Claddagh ring with two hands gripping a heart that once belonged to Van Fossen's deceased wife.

"It doesn't bother us, we have respect for each other's spouses," McMaster said.

Van Fossen admits he'd love to get married someday. He also has proposed about 20 times. But it's up to his lady love.

The couple go to the theater, museums, and dine out regularly, traveling everywhere on SEPTA.

Van Fossen loves playing golf and watching old movies. McMaster paints and writes poetry and essays, sometimes about the guy she calls her "new love."

"We went to a church dinner in our community," McMaster wrote about Van Fossen in an essay. "The man walked me to my door and kissed me good night. It was very romantic in the dark, cool evening. It made me feel young again."