Gay, binational couple joins fight against federal antigay law

They met at a birthday party in 1990, were instantly smitten, and, after years of transatlantic romancing, got married in California in 2008.

Today, they have four adopted children, ages 6 to 11, and a comfortable home in Harrisburg.

But a sword of Damocles hangs over the couple, only one of whom is an American citizen. The other is French, and vulnerable to deportation.

Under federal immigration law, married binational couples usually can fix this precarious situation with a family reunification petition, seeking a green card for the foreign-born spouse.

So on Wednesday, the two drove to Philadelphia. Their lawyer flew in from L.A. Together, they went to the regional office of U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services at 16th and Callowhill Streets.

There, Mark Himes, 43, sought permanent residency for his spouse, 48-year-old Frenchman Frederic Deloizy.

All they want, the men say, are the same rights afforded heterosexual couples, and, if denied, they plan to appeal.

"We will fight," said Himes, a facilities manager for the Pennsylvania Department of Education. "We didn't look to be the people fighting for their cause, but we will certainly become those people."

For half an hour on Wednesday, a USCIS officer talked with the couple, documented their joint finances, verified the adoptions of their children, and vetted the validity of their marriage.

Beyond the small interview room, however, the case is the latest episode in a continuing national struggle by gay-rights advocates to rid federal law of the Defense of Marriage Act, or DOMA.

Passed by Congress in 1996 and signed by President Bill Clinton, it defines marriage only as the union of one man and one woman.

"I am the father of our four children," Himes blogged recently. "Fred is the father of the same four children. [But according to the U.S. government] we are legal strangers to one another. Our marriage, our 22 years together, all of that amounts to nothing."

"In the immigration context," said Columbia University Law School professor Suzanne Goldberg, an expert on sexuality law, "DOMA tears binational gay couples apart."

Citing research by a UCLA Law School think tank on issues of sexual orientation, Lavi Soloway, the lawyer representing Himes and Deloizy, said an estimated 30,000 gay and lesbian binational couples in the United States could be eligible for green cards if not for DOMA.

Though six states and the District of Columbia recognize gay marriages, he said, the federal government does not take it into consideration in granting spousal benefits.

Advocates for gay rights want DOMA repealed or nullified in court. A New York Times editorial in July ranked it among "the most overtly discriminatory laws in the nation's history." President Obama, in a proclamation for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender Pride Month in 2009, said "LGBT families . . . should be allowed to live their lives with dignity and respect."

Complicating the picture, the Justice Department concluded that DOMA's definition of marriage was unconstitutional. Since February, it has refused to defend the law in court.

At the same time, the U.S. House of Representatives, in a rarely used maneuver, has hired its own lawyer to defend the law.

Immigration cases that run afoul of DOMA frequently involve a gay or lesbian spouse in deportation proceedings who hopes a last-ditch green card will prevent expulsion.

Himes' petition for Deloizy, known as an "affirmative application," is rarer, because Deloizy is not currently targeted for removal.

Deloizy knows that bringing bureaucratic attention to his case could change that, but he is "standing up now" to create more stability for his children. "With a green card, we can build our future," he said. "Without it, we are in a tunnel."

Himes and Deloizy met in 1990. "He had me at allo," Himes said.

Shortly afterward, Deloizy returned to France. For seven years, they had an intercontinental commuter romance.

In 1997, Deloizy, who has a postgraduate degree in linguistics, got an H1B visa - reserved for highly skilled immigrants - and came to America to teach French in a Catholic school near Harrisburg.

In 2000, they adopted a newborn named John, followed by another newborn, Claire, in 2003, and twin 4-year-olds, Jacob and Joshua, in 2007.

The next year, they wed in San Francisco, during the brief window of time when gay marriage was legal in that state.

"We were finally together in the same country" and building a family, Himes wrote in a blog he began about their family life. "We were both elated."

But Deloizy's immigration status was a constant concern.

His H1B visa was renewed once for three years, then expired in 2004. That year he was able to get an F1 student visa and enrolled in business courses at Harrisburg Area Community College. He wanted to open a foreign-language school, he said, but switched his studies to nursing, which seemed in higher demand.

With Deloizy's student visa set to expire last fall, the couple grew increasingly desperate. Moving everyone to France did not seem viable because French law does not recognize adoptions by gay couples.

So last summer, Himes and Deloizy joined the DOMA Project, a national campaign undertaken by married binational couples seeking equal treatment under the law for their families.

Information about the project, founded in 2010, appears on stopthedeportations.com, a website sponsored by Soloway and his law partner, Noemi Masliah.

"We cannot continue to exist from one visa to another," Himes blogged after filing. "We cannot put our children through the stress."

For now, as the couple awaits a decision that could take months, Himes goes about his state job every day. Deloizy runs the household, doing laundry, packing school lunches, shepherding their growing brood to doctor appointments and play dates.

That drill, they say, should be familiar to every family - and is certainly worth fighting for.