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Annette John-Hall: For some of 9/11 victims' survivors, anniversary coverage can be a bit much

Hard to believe it's been a decade since terrorists hijacked jetliners on Sept. 11 and used them to kill thousands of innocent people, changing the world forever.

Hard to believe it's been a decade since terrorists hijacked jetliners on Sept. 11 and used them to kill thousands of innocent people, changing the world forever.

Feels like 10 years flew by. But at the same time, it feels like we've slogged our way through 20.

Media coverage begins as early as a month in advance and slowly churns to the actual day, observed by endless tributes, memorials, and ceremonies.

No disrespect, but it gets to be a little much, even for the family members of the victims.

At least it does for Kelvin Bowser, who lost his twin brother, Kevin, on 9/11.

Kevin commuted from Philadelphia to his job as a computer specialist for Marsh & McLennan on the 97th floor of the World Trade Center.

Kelvin remembers hearing the news on the radio and turning on the TV - just in time to watch the second plane hit.

Since then, every anniversary leaves Kelvin cold.

"It's not like I'm saying, 'Oh, here it comes again,' but I don't look forward to it," says Kelvin, 55. "I think about it, but I'm anxious for it to be over."

He looks at Gail Ramsay, his girlfriend of 15 years, who nods in agreement.

"I think the public makes a big to-do about it," Gail says, "but for the people who have to live it, it's every day."

Tragic storms

It's an understatement to say Gail and Kelvin had weathered tragic storms together before.

In 2000, Gail's sister, DeAnn White, only 25, died in the collapse of Pier 34 at Penn's Landing.

"Kevin came on the heels of DeAnn," Gail says. "We were like zombies for a while. They were such dynamic personalities."

Kelvin and Gail are the same way. They're doers, not mourners. Each set up scholarships in DeAnn's and Kevin's names, and they have gotten on with their lives.

It wasn't easy. Trying to cope with the sudden loss of a loved one never is.

Kelvin, who recently retired from the U.S. Treasury Department, didn't want his photo taken for the newspaper. Not that he needs to. If you've seen Kevin, you've seen Kelvin - that's how much they look alike.

Star athletes

The Bowser brothers were star athletes in Southwest Philly. They played football at Bartrum High School and Kutztown University, and helped establish the Southwest Philadelphia Roadrunners, a Pop Warner football team for kids 5 through 12.

Kevin, a staunch vegetarian, was always promoting self-improvement, even greeting callers each time with a "How's your behavior?"

He and Kelvin weren't the kind of identical twins who finished each other's sentences, but they shared the same interests and ran with the same friends.

And it was childhood friends Mikey and Chuckie who joined older brother Donnie and Kelvin to do the detective work that verified that Kevin really did go to work that day, and who helped search every Manhattan hospital for him the day after the attacks.

"My belief that he was still alive dropped after that first day," Kelvin said, "but we went up anyway."

There would be many other trips to New York in the following months with events for families at ground zero.

Then there were the myriad support groups. Kelvin even remembers one called Twinless Twins, for surviving twins of victims of the twin towers attacks.

All Kelvin can do is smile about it now.

"I remember this [woman] standing next to me, asking, 'Does this do anything for you?' " he recalled. "I told her no." She felt the same.

After Kevin died, Kelvin took six months off from work, settling his brother's estate and supporting Kevin's wife and kids.

"What I really miss is Kevin's kids not having a father," he says. "A lot of kids don't have fathers for various reasons, but the reason my niece and nephew don't have a father just totally pisses me off."

But he doesn't dwell there.

Says Gail: "I really think the best tribute you can give Kevin is how you live your life."