Key to happiness? Time with family

So you're between 13 and 24. What makes you happy? A worried, weary parent might imagine the answer to sound something like this: Sex, drugs, a little rock 'n' roll. Maybe some cash, or at least the car keys.

Turns out the answer is quite different. Spending time with family was the top answer to that open-ended question, according to an extensive survey - more than 100 questions asked of 1,280 people 13 to 24 - conducted by the Associated Press and MTV on the nature of happiness among America's young people.

Next was spending time with friends, followed by time with a significant other. Even better for parents: Nearly three-quarters of young people say their relationship with their parents makes them happy.

"They're my foundation," said Kristiana St. John, 17, a high school student from the Queens borough of New York. "My mom tells me that even if I do something stupid, she's still going to love me no matter what. Just knowing that makes me feel very happy and blessed."

"It's good news to hear young people being realistic about what really makes them happy," said psychologist Jean Twenge, author of Generation Me and a professor at San Diego State University. "Research has shown us that relationships are the single greatest source of happiness."

Also confirming existing research, Twenge said, is the finding that children of divorced parents are somewhat less likely to be happy. Among 13- to 17-year-olds, 64 percent of those with parents still together said they woke up happy, compared with 47 percent of those with divorced parents.

Other results were more disconcerting. Though most young people were happy overall with the way their lives were going, there were racial differences: 72 percent of white youths said they were happy with life in general, but, across economic categories, only 56 percent of black youths and 51 percent of Hispanic youths said they were.

A lot of young people feel stress, particularly in the middle class, and more female than male respondents.

Young people in the survey had a 10 percent higher stress rate than adults did in a 2006 AP-Ipsos poll. For ages 13 to 17, school was the greatest source of stress. For those 18 to 24, it was jobs and financial matters.

Only 29 percent felt very safe traveling, and 25 percent very safe from terror attacks. Still, those interviewed said the fear of terrorism interfered little with their lives.

You might think money would be clearly tied to a general sense of happiness. But almost no one said money when asked what made them happy, though people with the highest family incomes were generally happier with life.

Those who can't afford to buy many of the things they want are less happy with life in general. Just under half of young people think they would be happier if they had more money, and the same percentage (49 percent) say they would be just as happy. However, having highly educated parents is a stronger predictor of happiness than income.

"I'm going to college next year," says Chad Fiedler, 17, who will attend Drexel University. "Not the cheapest thing nowadays. Money isn't the most important thing, but if something happens, it can turn into it."

And sex? Yes, we were getting to that. Being sexually active led to less happiness among those 13 to 17, according to the survey. For those 18 to 24, sex might lead to more happiness in the moment, but not in general.

Overall, romantic relationships were a source of happiness - but being in one did not necessarily lead to greater happiness with life in general.

"It would be nice, but where I am right now is, I want to take care of myself," said Stacy Rosales, 23, a recent college graduate. "Before you can be in a committed relationship you have to know who you are and what you really want."

Eventually, though, marriage is a goal for most young people, with 92 percent saying they definitely or probably want to get married. Most also want to have children.

"I don't want to be one of those career businesswomen who just doesn't ever settle down," said St. John, the New York high school student.

Alcohol users were slightly less happy than those who don't drink. The differences are more remarkable among those 13 to 17; just 40 percent of those who drank in the last seven days reported being happy with life, versus 68 percent of those who didn't. And 49 percent of illegal-drug users reported being happy with life, compared with 66 percent of those who did not use drugs.

Close to half said religion and spirituality were very important. More than half said they believed there is a higher power that has an influence over things that make them happy. Beyond religion, simply belonging to an organized religious group made people happier.

"I just like believing in something greater than me and everybody else," St. John, who attends a Catholic school, said of her commitment to religion. "When I pray, sometimes it just makes me feel better, if I'm freaking out about things."

Finally, when asked to name their heroes, nearly half of respondents mentioned one or both of their parents. The winner, by a nose: mother.

"My parents came here from the Philippines in the '70s," Rosales said. "They raised a family and got to where they are from scratch. My mother's now the director of a hospital. I admire them both so much."

"My mother is a pastor, and she's my role model," said Esohe Roland, 14, of Nashville, Tenn. "She's so giving."

Black and Hispanic respondents were more likely than whites to say their mothers were their heroes.

Will young people grow up to be happy adults? Overall they're optimistic: Sixty-two percent think they will be happier in the future than they are now. (Those over 18 are more optimistic.) But many anticipate a more difficult life than their parents had.

"I think a lot about my kids and what their lives are going to be like," Fiedler said. "There may be wars going on; who knows? I just have a feeling it's going to be harder for the future generation to be happy."

Tomorrow: Survey shows young white people are happier than their minority counterparts.

Wednesday: The nation's youths have a complicated relationship with money.

Thursday: Young people experience stress at a high rate, especially females.

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