John Baer: But could Ed pass THIS lie-detector test?

By John Baer
Philadelphia Daily News

Daily News Political Columnist

I CAN'T SHAKE the image of Gov. Ed strapped to a polygraph machine. It's his fault, really. He brought it up by recently telling the Greater Scranton Chamber of Commerce, "I think I could pass a lie detector," on the question of whether campaign contributions influence his decisions.

So I figure: Grip up, Big Guy.

Why not reprise that glorious moment in Philly's political history when another iconic city pol, the late Frank Rizzo, submitted to the test?

Let's call it Rendizzo.

For you youngsters, back in 1973, then-Mayor Rizzo agreed with Daily News City Hall reporter Zack Stalberg (later the paper's editor) to be polygraphed about political patronage.

"If this machine says a man lied, he lied," proclaimed Hizzoner. He then failed the test.

So I teamed up with some of His Edness' longtime favorite People Paper journalists - Chris Brennan, Dave Davies and Bob Warner - for a list of questions.

Relax, and take your time, Guv. And, remember: Answer yes or no.

1. Is your middle name really Gene? (a standard opening question for baseline on truth)

2. The city law firm Ballard Spahr and a corporation named Comcast seem to have fared especially well during your time as governor. Do you think that's coincidental?

3. Do you like cheesesteaks?

4. I want you to think back to a lucrative, no-bid airport-parking contract landed by Aerolink Inc. in the mid-'90s when you were mayor. A number of folks with ties to the Washington-based firm gave your campaign $21,500 two months after the company got the contract; and you said, "I didn't have anything to do with that. . . . Money doesn't buy contracts. It doesn't buy influence." Is that really true?

5. Do you like leggy blondes?

6. In your final days as mayor, the Daily News reported, the city's industrial-development authority bought a parcel of land at Broad Street and Washington Avenue for far more than it was worth. This was right after its owners, the Holt family, gave you $75,000. The land was valued at $1.3 million. The authority paid $4.5 million. Was that a good deal for the city?

7. You have dyed your hair for years. Do you also dye your eyebrows?

8. Was the provision in the 2004 state slots law that allowed convicted felons with charges more than 10 years old to be eligible for a casino license specifically written for Louie DeNaples?

9. When you lost that Super Bowl bet to then-Mass. Gov. Mitt Romney in 2005 and had to put on a Patriots jersey and sing the national anthem at a Sixers-Celtics game in Boston, do you believe that you accurately hit any notes?

10. Was there a deal with the state Supreme Court to uphold judicial pay raises in exchange for the court upholding the slots law?

11. This weight-loss thing, you want to go back to four eggs and eight strips of bacon, don't you?

12. When, as governor, you appointed electrical-workers union boss John J. ("Johnny Doc") Dougherty to the Delaware River Port Authority, was that the beginning of your efforts to enact broad political reforms?

13. When riding in your State Trooper-driven Cadillac, isn't it true that you often yell, "Let's go! Let's go! Make this P.O.S. feel my lash!"?

14. Do you think you'd survive a U.S. Senate confirmation hearing if tapped for a Cabinet post such as energy secretary?

15. Have you as governor ever accepted a nonfinancial - let's say in-kind - gift from a Washington lobbyist with a fancy sports car?

Thank you, sir. We'll have your results in a few weeks. Is that sweat?

Send e-mail to baerj@phillynews.com.

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