Mirror, Mirror: Bikinis without fear

Back in the day, you only needed a bikini to be beach-ready. Simple, right?

Today we are under so much pressure to be buff, bronze, busty, and bootylicious, the idea of lying by the pool has become laden with strife.

"I certainly go out of my way to avoid any place where I need to wear a bathing suit," said Nicole Wolverton, 39, a freelance fitness writer and rower from Aldan, who admits to being toned yet terrified of donning skimpy swimwear. "If there is a pool party, I'll go, but I refuse to put on a bathing suit. I don't want anyone checking me out, and I don't want anyone looking at my thighs."

We can blame celebrity worship. We can blame the media. We can blame men. We can blame the drama swimming around in our own heads. Still, Wolverton's bathing-suit anxiety is universal.

Fitness magazine's June issue reported that 30 percent of 1,000 women surveyed said they needed to lose 30 pounds to be bikini-ready.

Alarmingly, 16 percent said nothing would make them bikini-ready, and 24 percent said they would rather be stung by a jellyfish than surrender their beach cover-up. (Only 11 percent said they were bikini-ready as is.)

"No matter what a woman's body looks like, come swimsuit time, she's probably going to have some issues with it," said Yardley resident Pam O'Brien, executive editor at Fitness. "Every year women have to try on bathing suit after bathing suit under those horrible dressing-room fluorescent lights and find something they feel body-confident in."

Ain't that the truth?

I feel better about my body when walking around my bedroom naked than I do wearing a bikini on the sands. That's because when that suit cuts into my thighs, every little imperfection is amplified, like pow.

From where did this bikini angst come? After all, I'm sure Frenchmen Jacques Heim and Louis Réard didn't consider their 1946 invention such a self-esteem killer.

That's because when bikinis were first worn, we had much more respect for the natural body, said Clare Sauro, curator of Drexel University's historic costume collection. People weren't required to have the muscle tone they have today. In fact, although more women were thinner, they were definitely flabbier, and those softer, more sensual bodies were OK to have throughout the 1970s, Sauro said.

But then a very toned Elle Macpherson became a Sports Illustrated hot girl when she first appeared on the cover of the swimsuit edition in 1987. Readers salivated. And women got a new role model.

At the same time, gym memberships became popular, and healthy eating started to rival smoking cigarettes as a way to stay trim.

Not long after, breast implants moved beyond the celebrity world, as did booty enhancers. And by the late '90s, sun worshipers used tanning beds to stay caramel-colored all year. Manicures and pedicures became part of women's Saturday errand schedule, as did waxing.

For some women, all this "work" has given them perennial beach bodies.

Center City businesswoman Judy Munroe says she is bikini-ready 365 days a year. Is she vain? Yes. But she works hard to keep up her body.

"When I do the pinch test, there is nothing there," said Munroe, 56, a marketing executive who watches her food portions and gets her exercise carrying luggage and running through airports in high-heeled shoes. "So I'm going to continue to wear a bikini. Bikinis are my happy outfit."

What should those of us do who want a beach experience but don't have a genetic predisposition for backside exposure or hours a week to dedicate to maintaining a six-pack starting in January?

Jené Luciani, a New York-based style expert and author of The Bra Book, says exfoliate in the shower, apply a spray tan, and get a bathing suit - preferably one with vintage polka dots - that fits well.

"You don't have to be afraid of bikinis," Luciani said. "If you are busty, just get one with an underwire that supports you," she said. If your thighs are your nemesis, buy high-cut bottoms, as boy shorts will only make you look thicker.

I'll think about that.

Last, women shouldn't forget the most important thing about wearing a bikini: Have fun. I know that can be a little tough when, according to that Fitness survey, nearly 90 percent of women said their toughest critics weren't men, but other women.

But don't think about those manicured claws.

Throw a beach ball. Lie in the sand. Wade in the water. So what if you've got a little pooch and some cellulite? There are worse things: Corsets and pantyhose could still be mandatory.