My wife and I have an open marriage. I thought it would be fun, but this new woman she is seeing is ruining everything. She’s all my wife talks about. They spend every weekend together. I feel completely left out. This isn’t what I thought it would be. Any advice?
Mia: Being in an open marriage isn’t as much fun as you thought, huh? That’s how it is with the polyamory life. Having freedom to pursue sexual relationships outside your primary one sounds great and all, but in practice it can get messy. Jealousy is common. Did you and your wife set parameters about how you were going to do this? Some monogamy-ish couples date others but keep their spouse as their primary relationship. Others are more into swinging, where they meet up with another couple for sex. Don’t make another move in bed or out of it until you and wifey clarify your rules.
Steve: You need to listen to singer Jill Sobule. She had a great song called “I Kissed a Girl.” Listen to it. Think about it. Then have a conversation.
I’m seeing a woman who has a son a previous relationship. The boy is a real terror. She doesn’t like me to discipline him. I like when he is with his dad. Things are so much better. We are both in our mid-30s and have been together six months. She says she is not sure if she wants more kids but I told her I want at least one kid of my own. Me and her been talking about moving in together and marriage but I am not sure because of her son and how she doesn’t want any more kids. What should I do?
Steve: Be a dad. Don’t give up. The more you can do for him, the better chances he’ll improve. Ask him questions. Offer him answers. Don’t give up.
Mia: Run, Forrest, run! She doesn’t want another kid and you clearly do. Plus, the kid she has is a terror. No good is going to come out of prolonging this relationship. For this to work, one of you would have to change. And with the terror she already has on her hands, chances are she’s not going to give in. I can’t say that I blame you. Your best bet is to find someone else. Good luck!