Q: I'm seeing this man who I met online and everything's good, but I caught him looking through my phone and, when I confronted him about it, he flipped out. I then told him he had to leave, which he did. That was two weeks ago, and then out of the blue he showed up at my house, begging for me to take him back, which I did. My friends all say I'm an idiot but I love him. Here's my question: Now I'm the one who's being jealous. He has photos of him with his ex on Facebook. I asked him to take them down but he won't because his kids are in the photos. How do I handle this?
Steve: Can you trust him? If so, then why fuss at him about his ex-girlfriend? That makes no sense. If you DON'T trust him, then you have a problem. You'll have to figure that out.
Mia: Let me get this straight: Your boyfriend went snooping on your phone which you rightly came down on him about. Now, you're mad at him because he still has pictures of his ex posted on Facebook? Neither of you seems to respect the fact that you both had lives before you met each other. And now that you're in each other's lives, you expect that evidence of the past to just disappear. Get out of here with that! You two deserve each other. You can't undo the past and you shouldn't want to because it's our past experiences that make us into who were are today.
Q: My girlfriend and I are getting married on Saturday! We've been together for years and never had a bad time. But here's the problem: My dad has become strongly Catholic. My wife-to-be's dad is strongly Protestant. Our dads say they'll never stop pitching what they want. Can you help?
Steve: Easily done. Tell your dads that you two could go either way. So you decided to settle it. Whoever is the first dad to push his belief on you will be the one you reject. That should shut 'em up.
Mia: Hey, Steve, this is serious. A couple's choice about how to handle religious differences is one of the biggest decisions they'll make. I'm assuming the in-laws in question are hoping that any future kids will be raised in the religion of their choice. The newlyweds will need to come together and inform their parents that while they respect their beliefs, the choice as to what religion to raise their kids is theirs alone to make. And then the couple needs to stick to that.
Between them, Steve and Mia have logged more than a few decades in the single-and-dating world. They're also wise to the ways of married life. They don't always agree, but they have plenty of answers. Contact them at S&M c/o Daily News, 801 Market St., Philadelphia, PA 19107 or firstname.lastname@example.org.