Q: I know this has nothing to do with sex, which is what you guys usually focus on, but I really need help. My husband bought a car without talking to me about it first. He went out and did it one day while I was at work. The next morning, I found it in the driveway. He'd hidden it the night before so as to surprise me. I'm really shocked that he would do something like this and wondering what other surprises he's up to. Help!
Mia: You've got to look at the bright side. He could have bought his mistress a car. Instead, he bought one ostensibly for you to either drive yourself or else ride around in. Unless this is going to make a huge dent in your finances, I wouldn't make a big deal out of it. Yeah, it would have been better had he asked first. Couples who comingle finances should consult each other before major purchases. But he didn't. Tell him how you feel, and ask him not to do that again in the future and hope for the best. Honestly, what else can you do at this point?
Steve: Some people love surprises. Some people hate 'em. Some men (including some husbands) love to make surprises for women who love surprises. Some men don't give a damn what a woman cares about. This latter may be your problem. If so, time for a divorce. But if he loves YOU, then he'll act in ways that satisfy you. If he says you meet this criterion, you should keep him. It worked for Cake:
I want a girl with a mind like a diamond
I want a girl who knows what's best.
I want a girl with shoes that cut
And eyes that burn like cigarettes.
Q: My sister has tried twice now to ruin relationships I've had with men she doesn't like. I know we can make mistakes. I definitely have twice before, and one of the guys turned out to be a real rat-face. But I think I can do well if just left alone. My sister and I love each other, but it's time for her to step aside.
Steve: At the very least, it's time to discuss how the family should receive loveable guys without damaging the wonderful sisters. Sisters, you should come first. And if anyone tries to divide you, all you need to say is this:
All of the people around us they say
Can we be that close
Just let me state for the record
We're giving love in a family dose.
We are family
I got all my sisters with me.
Mia: Steve, you are killing me with these songs! As for the woman with the shady sister, you need to put her in check. And after you do it, make sure all of your other family members know, so they can also step to the wannabe jumpoff and remind her that family's supposed to stick together. In the future, don't introduce her to any of your boyfriends. Let her meet them on your wedding day.
We get letters from readers. Here's one:
Regarding that man that states he has been married for 20 years and his wife is no longer sexually active at age 52: Why not tell that man to hire a housekeeper? Is his wife working a full-time job plus doing all the cleaning, shopping, and taking care of kids? That is usually what the male expects.
Between them, Steve and Mia have logged more than a few decades in the single-and-dating world. They're also wise to the ways of married life. They don't always agree, but they have plenty of answers. Contact them at S&M c/o Daily News, 801 Market St., Philadelphia, PA 19107 or firstname.lastname@example.org.