Q: I'm 6 feet, 6 inches tall and a big guy overall -- except for one place. In terms of penis size, it's only 5 inches long, and I am very self-conscious about it because women assume that if you're tall that you're big all over, and it's not true in my case. It's humiliating. The last woman I was with looked very confused when she found this out about me. How should I deal with this going forward?
Steve: Easy. Find out what she likes. Size is a factor, but maybe no more than 10 percent of the element. From female friends over the years, I've heard many stories about men with big ones that are of little value because what counts is WHAT you're doing and HOW you do it. Or, to quote Southside Johnny (1976) or The Swallows (1951), "It Ain't the Meat, It's the Motion."
Mia: It's far better to have sex with a great guy with a tiny penis than a bad guy with a gigantic one. For the record, yours is hardly what they call a micropenis, which is typically the result of a medical defect. It just looks like one in comparison to your significant body size. My advice is to play up your other assets -- your charm, your oral-sex skills, your looks. If you're truly amazing, you'll probably find a woman to overlook your -- ahem -- shortcomings.
Q: This boy I met online hasn't called me in a whole week. Before that, me and him had been kicking it on the regular. The sex was good and everything. Everything was cool. But he hasn't been answering my texts or anything. I feel like I want to swing by his job just to see if he's OK. My friends say don't do it. But I can't take this anymore, and I'm thinking of going over there anyway. What do you think?
Mia: Listen to your friends. They're looking out for you. If you go over there and dude's working, you'll look desperate. Find something else to focus on. If you took your dating profile down or hid it, now's the the time to reactivate it. Go to the gym and burn off that nervous energy. If someone else asks you out on a date, go. That "boy" as you call him will resurface once he misses you and is finished with whatever has captured his attention. Hopefully, by the time he does, you'll have calmed down and can make smart decisions about how or if you'll proceed. Good luck.
Steve: He's not what you expect him to be. To quote They Might Be Giants' "Birdhouse in Your Soul":
I'm not your only friend
But I'm a little glowing friend
But really I'm not actually your friend.
In fairness, a glowing friend in plastic would be of more value than the friend who dumped you without the courage to tell you.
Between them, Steve and Mia have logged more than a few decades in the single-and-dating world. They're also wise to the ways of married life. They don't always agree, but they have plenty of answers. Contact them at S&M c/o Daily News, 801 Market St., Philadelphia, PA 19107 or firstname.lastname@example.org.