Sometimes you feel like a nut

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Q: What about using coconut oil as a lube? I'm trying to stick to natural products these days.

Mia: You could. Just make sure you're using the real thing - not some faux junk with lots of added ingredients.

Also, I wouldn't risk using it with latex condoms. You don't want anything that might degrade the integrity of the latex.

There are some natural lubes on the market you may want to experiment with. But read the labels first and exercise caution. You don't want to get a nasty infection - or worse.

Steve: If God wanted men to have sex with coconuts he would've made them more shapely.

Over-the-counter lubricants can cause irritation for a small number of users, but there are alternative products. Talk to your gynecologist.

Q: I've been noticing for a while now that I get urinary tract infections with some guys but not with others. Why is that?

Mia: There are a lot of factors, such as the size of the guy you're with, how vigorous the thrusting is and whether your partner showers before sex.

The best thing you can do to keep from getting infected is to be as clean as possible and insist he's clean, too. Take showers before sex when you can. Also use condoms and make sure to urinate after sex and empty your bladder as much as you can. Drink lots of fluids.

If you still get burning sensations or other cystitis symptoms anyway, consult a physician. You don't want symptoms to progress.

Steve: Some guys are slobs. Insist that any man you're with is cleaned up.

In fact, offer to help him clean it.


Steve is a 50-something married man who's been around the block. Mia is a younger, recently married woman with an altogether different attitude. They may not agree, but they have plenty of answers. Contact them at steveandmia@phillynews.com or S&M c/o Daily News, 801 Market St., Philadelphia, PA 19107.