The hell of it is she's celibate

Q: I've been celibate since getting divorced 10 years ago. I thought sex was over for me until an old friend dropped into town this week. His wife recently died and he admitted that he was interested in dating me. I'm flattered but I'm dead sexually. I've gained weight and I can't imagine being intimate with anyone again. Help!

Mia: Make a gynecologist appointment. Maybe she can recommend hormone replacement therapy or some other treatment to bring you back to life. While you're waiting for that to work, sign up for Zumba or another class that will get you moving your body. Get your hair done and buy sexy lingerie. No granny panties! Once you become sexually intimate, have intercourse regardless of how blah you feel. Your goal is to get back in the game. You can get your sexy back but it's going to take work.

Steve: It's like riding a bicycle.

Q: I met a really nice guy and it's been great. We've been spending lots of time together and even talked about marriage a few times. The only thing is, he is more serious than I am. I still go online and am seeing other people, but he took his profile down a while ago. Me, I'm not as sure. I still have feelings for my ex and was with him last night.

The reason I'm writing is that my new guy invited me to brunch on Sunday with his kid and his mom. I told him I would go. Then, yesterday, he told me his brother and his family will be there, too. It's turned into some big family reunion. He's all excited, but I don't want to go. But I also don't want to hurt his feelings. Should I just go and pretend like I'm as in love with him as he with me?

Mia: You're probably overthinking it. Why not go, have a couple of mimosas and just enjoy yourself? Afterward, set a time when you can have a talk about the status of your relationship. From the sound of things, you're overdue.

Steve: I'm not sure how long you've been seeing him, but sometimes love grows over time as opposed to first sight. In fact, love at first sight is often lust, not love. Tell him he's a bit ahead of you but you're willing to see if you catch up. If you're still not feeling it after six months, then odds are it won't happen.