Communication in this relationship is backward


Q: I have a really weird question that I've never seen addressed in your column. I'm wondering if the new guy I'm seeing is gay because he asked me to use a dildo on him from behind? I'm a little freaked out by him asking me to do that.

Steve: If that's the only "sign," no. Having the prostate gland, sometime called the man's G-spot, digitally stimulated is very pleasurable to some men.

Mia: Shouldn't you be asking him that question? Seriously, I don't get how people are willing to get buck naked with each other but unwilling to open up their mouths for something other than oral sex and actually talk to each other.

Next time you see this dude, keep your clothes on for longer than five minutes and spend time finding out what's in his heart and soul. Ask him about his past relationships. Try to get a feel as to whether he's being open and honest with you about who he is and what he wants.

That should let you know all you need to know.


Q: My boyfriend talks dirty to me when we are in bed together. Even though I don't like it, I have been humoring him and playing along. Why? Because me and him get along pretty good and it's hard out here.

Lately, though he's taking things to a whole other level. His whole face contorts and the things that come out of his mouth are so vile that I can't believe he says them. He says four-letter words and even calls me b---- and the N-word.

But when he's not having sex, he works hard and takes care of his kids and his mother. If I could fix this one problem, I would be happy with him. What should I do?

Mia: He sounds scary. My advice is to dump that foul-mouthed fella and find someone who whispers how much he loves you into your ear instead of racial epithets and four-letter words. Don't you deserve better?

Steve: I don't think he's as psycho as Mia does. Ask him if he'd like a dildo up his behind, and when he says no, tell him that's how you feel about the vile language. He may get the point.