They split up, but are still living together
DEAR ABBY: I dated my ex for six years, but we broke up recently. The problem is, we signed a lease on our apartment that won't be up until next year. He still lives here, and I don't have the heart to kick him out. Financially, our living together makes sense, and I'd rather live with him than with a stranger.
Abby, this living arrangement has made it tough to get over him. Our breakup was amicable - somewhat - and we remain civil to each other. I have no desire to get back together with him. I just find it hard because I'm not sure how to survive this weird situation I'm in. Is it a good idea to keep living together?
- Remaining Civil in Canada
DEAR REMAINING CIVIL: It depends upon how high your tolerance is for pain. If seeing your ex with others hurts to the extent that you shed tears on your pillow, or obsess about who he's with and where he's going, then it's not a good idea. However, if the situation can't be changed, then it's important that you fill your time with activities and opportunities that allow you to meet new people and make new friends.
DEAR ABBY: My new husband's family informed him they were coming to visit us for seven to 10 days. This was eight relatives, and I was not asked whether this was convenient or not. They were so noisy that our neighbors finally asked, "When are they leaving?"
How can I prevent this from happening again in the future without offending anyone? My husband said after they had left, "You don't handle chaos and confusion well, do you?"
- Needs to be Consulted in Georgia
DEAR NEEDS TO BE CONSULTED: Revisit the question your husband asked you. And when you do, tell him the answer is not only do you not handle chaos, confusion and eight surprise houseguests well, neither do your neighbors. Then set some boundaries for the next time they say they are coming. His first response should always be, "I'll check with my wife to see if it's convenient."