Thursday, July 10, 2014
Inquirer Daily News

Alcoholic & mean, he may be cheating, too

He has a nasty temper and now goes to AA meetings. (iStock photo)
He has a nasty temper and now goes to AA meetings. (iStock photo)
DEAR ABBY: My husband is an alcoholic who attends AA meetings. Last night, he forgot to sign out of his email and I saw he has been corresponding with a woman he met at the meetings. In her message she confided her problems finding a man. His reply was that she has been picking the wrong men, that he cares and that they need to talk face-to-face.

I can't eat or sleep, worrying about what might possibly be going on. I don't want to confront him because he has a nasty temper, yet I feel I must do something. - Lost in Nowhere, Mont.

DEAR LOST: Instead of "confronting" your husband, simply ask him if he has become this woman's AA sponsor. It might explain why she is confiding in him, and why he suggested they meet face-to-face to talk, which could be entirely innocent. Does he have a history of cheating on you?

If something is going on, it would be better for your emotional health to know what you are dealing with. And if your husband responds with verbal or physical abuse because of his "nasty temper," you should insist on marriage counseling or get out of there for your own safety.

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  • DEAR ABBY: I have been married to a wonderful man for 17 years and we have two children. My life should be perfect, and it is - until it's time to visit my in-laws.

    My mother-in-law admits to being mean and nasty. She says she doesn't care because she "hates people." I would never dream of saying some of the things they have said to me. They're upper middle class and I'm "trash." How can I make their verbal abuse stop?

    - "Outlaw" in Arizona

    DEAR "OUTLAW": If your husband is "wonderful," why has he tolerated his parents' treating you this way for 17 years? You can't "make" your in-laws stop their verbal abuse, but your husband might be able to if he locates his spine and puts his foot down.

    Dear Abby
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