He's off the booze, but it keeps her afloat
DEAR ABBY: A little over a year ago, my husband and I were pulled over after a day on our boat. We had been drinking. My husband was charged with a DUI, went through everything that was required and decided to stop drinking.
I am very proud of him. Going to AA meetings has kept him strong, and he has become a better person.
I, on the other hand, like to relax with a beer once in a while, but if I do, I feel guilty. My husband says it's OK, but I feel it might tempt him.
Am I doomed not to be able to drink anymore to support his sobriety, or can I have a beer once in a while and hope he has learned to cope?
Is having an occasional beer selfish?
- Needs a Drink in New York
DEAR NEEDS A DRINK: When someone describes not imbibing alcohol as being "doomed" and signs off as "needs a drink," I suspect that the individual may be alcohol-dependent to some degree.
If there is any chance that your sober husband might crave alcohol if he sees you having a beer, then do it when you're not in his presence. I call that being considerate and "sacrificing" for the greater good.
DEAR ABBY: What do you do when your daughter chooses to raise her kids entirely differently than she was raised, and when she comes for a visit, there's no regard or respect for your stuff?
- Up in Arms in Florida
DEAR UP IN ARMS: You childproof your home, or make sure to see your grandchildren only at their home.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.