Her fiance won't help if she quits her job

DEAR ABBY: I am the mother of a 4-year-old daughter and pregnant with my second child.

I am extremely unhappy at my job. I want to find another job after my maternity leave, but I'm afraid my soon-to-be-fiance won't be willing to pick up the slack financially while I'm temporarily unemployed.

Isn't this the normal give-and-take that "married" couples go through? Shouldn't I expect him to help me if I'm going through a rough patch?

- Expecting and Depressed in Texas

DEAR EXPECTING: I assume that you have discussed this with your boyfriend and he wasn't receptive. Your expectations wouldn't be unreasonable if you were married or at least engaged. But you're not. Your not-quite-fiance appears to be treating you like a roommate-with-benefits.

Of course he should be supportive emotionally and financially if you leave your job. Expecting him to step up to the plate is not unreasonable. But whether he agrees with you and me is another matter. Please find out before you invest any more money or he impregnates you again.

DEAR ABBY: My husband's successful, middle-aged son "Rory" has developed the habit of stopping by unannounced occasionally on his way home from work. This would be fine except that it falls in the middle of the dinner hour. Although we ask Rory to join us, he prefers to just stand over us and talk about his day while we eat. I have asked his father to speak to him about it but he refused to say anything.

Because I have had a good long-term relationship with my stepson, I took him aside and politely explained that these dinner interruptions are discourteous. Rory blew up at me! Should I have held my tongue?

- Disappointed Stepmom

DEAR STEPMOM: Because your husband refused to say anything and won't back you up, it appears the answer is yes. While some people consider the dinner hour to be sacred, not everyone does, and your stepson's visits were only occasional.