How could mom marry daughter's molester?

DEAR ABBY: Two years ago one of my granddaughters was molested by her mother's (my daughter's) then-boyfriend, whom they were living with. When the girl's father found out, he called the police and the man was arrested, tried and convicted.

Abby, while he was out on bail, my daughter married him! She doesn't believe the molestation took place. I cut off contact with this daughter, as did her sisters.

Am I doing the right thing? I sometimes feel guilty, but it angers me that she didn't stand behind her daughter and has made no effort to see either of her girls over the past two years. I see them often because their dad knows I stand with the girls 100 percent.

- Grandma in Ohio

DEAR GRANDMA: The answer to your question depends upon why your daughter hasn't seen her children in two years. If it's because their father won't allow it, then her estrangement from her daughters isn't her fault. If it has been her choice, however, then stop feeling guilty.

DEAR ABBY: My ex-husband moved out of our home two years ago, but never changed his mailing address. He feels it's OK to come to our "married house" any time he wants. He goes through the mail, opens the cabinets and refrigerators, even goes into my room when I'm not home and watches TV. I am dating someone new and don't feel comfortable with this setup.

We currently have the "married house" on the market, and I want to make sure he knows he won't be welcome in my new home if not invited. How do I avoid conflict with him and my kids?

- Really Divorced in St. Louis

DEAR REALLY DIVORCED: Tell your ex to notify the post office - and his creditors - of his change of address, and that if his mail continues to show up at your house, after a month it will be returned to the post office with the notation "not at this address."

You should also inform him and your children that you do not want him in your house in your absence. If he doesn't respect your wishes, then change the locks.