She's weirded-out to visit 'out' dad & partner
DEAR ABBY: I'm 16 and have a 13-year-old sister. Our parents are divorced, and we live with our mother. We see our dad for two weeks in the summer and one week during Christmas.
Dad lives in a one-bedroom apartment and when we're there, he lets us stay in the bedroom and he sleeps on the couch. He has just told us he is "coming out of the closet" and has a partner who is living with him. They plan on getting married now that it's legal.
We're not surprised to find out that Dad is gay. But we're really uncomfortable about spending two weeks in a one-bedroom apartment along with his partner when we don't even know what the sleeping arrangements will be. We'd like to find a way to get out of the visit, but we don't want to hurt our dad, and because of the visitation agreement, he has the right to have us for two weeks every summer. What can we do?
- Uncomfortable in California
DEAR UNCOMFORTABLE: You and your sister should go and try to be gracious guests. I agree, the space may be cramped, but it's only for two weeks. After they marry, they may move to larger quarters. If you give this a chance, you may be very pleasantly surprised, so think positive.
DEAR ABBY: My father-in-law is considering having my two precious little girls' names tattooed on his arm. I would prefer my daughters' names not be displayed in this manner.
Do my husband and I have a right to ask him not to do this?
- Against It in Oklahoma
DEAR AGAINST IT: You can offer your opinion, but there is no way you and your husband can control what he does with his body. While it may not be to your liking, I'm sure your father-in-law considers it to be a loving gesture and a sign (literally) that he's proud of his granddaughters. If the tattoo has already been applied, then please, for the sake of family harmony, try to view it from that perspective.