DEAR ABBY: My girlfriend, "Allison," and I have been in a relationship for two years. We were virgins when we started dating, but decided we would lose our virginity to each other. We have always used birth-control pills and condoms.
Earlier this month we had a pregnancy scare. Allison had failed to tell me she stopped taking her birth-control pills three months ago. My trust was broken, but most of all I was scared she might be pregnant. It turned out she wasn't, but because of the incident I have been skeptical about making love to her.
Abby, we are way too young to have a child and are totally unprepared. I'd still like to be intimate with Allison, but I'm afraid. What should I do?
- Betrayed in Bangor, Maine
DEAR BETRAYED: The first thing you should do is thank your higher power that there wasn't an "accident" and your girlfriend didn't become pregnant. The next thing you should do is find out why Allison would stop taking her birth-control pills without telling you. If there was a medical reason, there are other methods she could have used in their place.
And last, recognize that if you resume having sex with her - which I emphatically don't recommend - that you won't be able to trust her as far as birth control is concerned, and you will be the one totally responsible for preventing a pregnancy.
DEAR ABBY: I would like your opinion on the relatively new craze of trashing the wedding dress. Some women say if they have a daughter, she wouldn't want a dated dress. But if the dress is in style, I'm sure some less-fortunate girl would love to have it. Rather than trash it, I say why not donate the dress or sell it and send the money to a woman's charity?
- Sensible in the Sunshine State
DEAR SENSIBLE: I can't speak for all young women, but I am willing to bet that many would be thrilled to wear the gown their mother wore. And for those who aren't interested or can't fit into it, your idea of recycling is compassionate, generous and sensible.