She resents his folks' pushy old-time religion

DEAR ABBY: My husband's stepmother and father send religious-themed gifts for every holiday. We have an abundance of unused books, DVDs, stickers, coloring books, dolls, bookmarks, etc., purchased from local Christian stores for a hefty price.

We don't see them often during the year because we live in different states, but we would like our kids to have a good relationship with them. The kids don't seem to be fazed by it, but they also don't get excited about opening and using these gifts.

We believe that grandparents should be interested in learning about what each child is drawn to, and not so much about preaching their own religious beliefs to us. It makes us uncomfortable and resentful at times.

How does one politely tell in-laws to stop sending religious-themed gifts?

- Overloaded in South Carolina

DEAR OVERLOADED: One doesn't. A better way to handle it would be to communicate with them in between these holidays and tell them what activities the grandkids are involved in, and any new interests they may have. A stronger hint than that would be offensive, and I don't recommend it. As to what to do with the unused items - donate them.

DEAR ABBY: When my daughter calls her mother-in-law "Mom," it hurts my feelings. I gave birth to her and worked hard to put a roof over her head and food in her mouth. She has only one mother during her lifetime - me. I never called my mother-in-law "Mom."

- Disappointed in Idaho

DEAR DISAPPOINTED: Many women besides your daughter call their mothers-in-law "Mom." Rather than be jealous and territorial, you should be happy that your daughter has such a warm relationship with her mother-in-law.

However, because you feel slighted, ask if she would be willing to call her MIL "Mama Smith" - something other than her name for you - when you are all together in order to avoid "confusion."