Boss-dater wonders: Why do men cheat?
I have been dating a married man for more than a year. He's my boss.
DEAR ABBY: I have been dating a married man for more than a year. He's my boss. "Gerry" has two kids with his wife and two more outside the marriage.
I have never been the type to date someone else's man, nor do I approve of it. I know that what I'm doing is wrong, but at times it just feels so right. We do everything together and enjoy each other's company.
Is it possible for him to be in love with us both? Why do men cheat?
- The Other Woman in Alabama
DEAR OTHER WOMAN: What you're doing with your boss may "feel" right, but as you clearly stated, it is wrong. It isn't fair to his wife, or to you or his children. While the two of you are doing "everything" together, he is cheating all four of his children of time that should be spent being a parent to them.
As to whether this man is in love with you and his wife, frankly I doubt it. He appears to be more in love with himself. Men cheat for a variety of reasons, and more often than not, it's more about the cheater than the spouse. Consider that fact carefully before wasting any more precious years with him, because you will never get them back.
DEAR ABBY: My husband needed a car to replace the old one, so he insisted on a manual transmission, which I don't know how to drive. Do you think that's fair?
He said, "Oh, you can learn." I am 58 and nervous, and I have heard it said that many a clutch got burned out by "learning." I don't want to do that. What do you say?
- Shirley in New Jersey
DEAR SHIRLEY: While I understand your concern about a stick shift, your husband has told you that you can learn to use one. I recommend that you learn by driving his car.
While many a gear may have been stripped by a novice driver, some have not. Think of it this way: You may be a natural. And if you're not - well, he asked for it.