Dear Abby: All's not fair in love and a whore

DEAR ABBY: I have been married 30 years and have raised four children to adulthood. I recently found out my husband has been having an affair with a prostitute from a strip club. He paid all her living expenses and promised to marry her. She was 26 when it started; he is 56. He told her his wife had run away with another man and that he was divorced. When I confronted him, he lied, lied, lied.

He wants to continue living together and pretend nothing happened. He says he wants to make up for his mistake with me, but all the while he was having unprotected sex.

During this long affair, he was brazen, arrogant and abusive to me. Now he wants to be attentive, but he makes me sick. What do I do?

- Can't Trust Him in New Jersey

DEAR CAN'T TRUST HIM: I'm advising you to make up your mind after some sessions with a psychologist on your own. Why you would want to continue in a marriage to an abusive philanderer is something only you can answer.

DEAR ABBY: I am a gay man who has been single for seven years. I met "Mark" about 10 months ago. We have almost everything in common except that I'm a Democrat and he's a Republican.

My problem concerns my other gay friends, mostly Democrats, who don't like Mark because he's a Republican. They no longer invite me to gatherings and their phone calls have ceased.

I feel hurt and rejected by my closest friends. I feel torn between them and Mark, who is someone I really care for. Is it wrong to continue my relationship with my boyfriend at the expense of my friends?

- Politically Incorrect

DEAR POLITICALLY INCORRECT: I see nothing wrong with continuing your relationship with Mark; however, I think it may be time for you to expand your circle of friends if this is how your old ones behave. You'll all be happier if you do. Trust me on that.