Hello there

Phyllis was living in Bridgeton, N.J., and Rick in East Coventry when they were introduced through the dating Web site eHarmony in October 2007. Phyllis, who is now 66, had been married to Chester County Common Pleas Court Judge John E. Stively, who died 13 years ago. Rick, now 68, had been divorced for about two decades.

After more than two months of e-mails and phone conversations, Rick and Phyllis met for a drink in late January 2008 at the Eagle Tavern in Eagle, north of Exton. Wine and conversation led to dinner at the bar, and the next thing they knew, the dining room lights were turned off. "We realized the bartender was waiting for us to go home," Phyllis said. "He let us out the back door."

How does forever sound?

In May 2008, Rick decided to have a party themed around the movie The Bucket List. That was the one where characters played by Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman met in a hospital and made a list of things they wanted to do before they died - things such as jumping out of an airplane.

Fifty people gathered at Rick's place, then wrote and discussed their own bucket lists. Rick was having a fabulous time, and he was feeling inspired. He sneaked down to the lower-level den and pushed two chairs close together, then returned to his guests. At 2 a.m., when everyone had gone home, he and Phyllis sat in the chairs he had assembled.

"I would like you to marry me. Would that be all right?" Rick said.

"Yes, of course," Phyllis said. "But will you remember this in the morning?"

"We'll see about that," he said.

About four hours later, at 6:30 a.m., Rick woke up Phyllis to reaffirm his intent to marry her. Because the Bucket List proposal had not been planned, Rick had no ring to give Phyllis - not then. Several weeks later, he called Phyllis as she was driving home from work. He said he was in the Exton area and asked her to meet him at the Eagle Tavern - the site of their first date.

"When I arrived, I sat next to him at the bar and the bartender came over and asked me what I wanted to drink," Phyllis said. "A minute later the bartender returned with a martini glass with a ring box in it. Rick kissed me and everyone in the bar applauded."

It was so them

"The thought of anyone our age having a big wedding - there were many comments about our doing that," Phyllis said. But she and Rick wanted a church ceremony and fancy clothes and a big party. Eventually, everyone got into the spirit of things. Their 150 guests had a great time.

Phyllis' bridesmaids have all passed age 60. One said to her husband, "You don't think that Phyllis will want us to walk down the aisle at our age?" and her husband replied, "How old do you think the people in the audience will be?"

Phyllis' maid of honor, Irene Brooks (who is chair of the International Waterway Commission, to which she was appointed by President George W. Bush), went with the bride to shop for bridesmaids' dresses. They found them: long, black satin, and strapless. Irene's only request: "We've got to have something to cover up these bingo arms."

Phyllis made shrugs for her maids, and they gave her a lingerie shower.

It was important to Rick and Phyllis to include their family and friends as much as possible. Rick had three best men and a best maid - his son, Christopher Brown; his brother, Bill Brown; his longtime friend, Jim Ludwig; and his daughter, Jennifer Karkoska.

In addition to maid of honor Irene, Phyllis had three bridesmaids - friends Rennie Wood, Nancy Thompson, and Marilyn McCormick. Phyllis was escorted down the aisle by her brother, Edward Waddell.

The ring bearers - Jacob Karkoska, 4, and Chase Brown, 3 - and the flower girl, Halle Brown, 8, all were Rick's grandchildren.

At home

The couple live in East Coventry Township.

At work

Phyllis is a consultant who works with housing authorities coordinating public/private partnership projects. She is currently working for the Bridgeton Housing Authority. Rick is a financial planner with Main Line Financial Advisors.

Awestruck

Rick and Phyllis memorized their vows so there was no repeat-after-me with the minister. The words they said, at the moment in which they said them, were so moving that their voices cracked at first.

Discretionary spending

A bargain: Phyllis saved a bundle with her sewing. Rather than paying $380 for each of the shrugs her maid of honor and bridesmaids wore, she paid only $110 for the fabric. She spent an additional $30 on fabric for the flower girl's dress. The premade dress she liked - which did not come in the right color - was $210.

The splurge: Everything else, but they wish they had spent a little more and hired a videographer. "What we didn't realize until later is that the people in the wedding don't get to see the wedding."

The getaway

Two weeks out West, including a week in Scottsdale, Ariz.; a tour of the Grand Canyon; two days in Yosemite National Park; a shoreline drive to Carmel, Monterey, and Pebble Beach, Calif.; and two days in Sonoma and Napa, Calif.

Behind the Scenes

Officiant

Rev. Graham Ford from Bryn Mawr Presbyterian and Dr. Robert Young, retired minister of Westminster Presbyterian Church in West Chester

Venue

Bryn Mawr Presbyterian Church in Bryn Mawr and the Radnor Hotel in St. Davids

Catering

The Radnor Hotel, coordinated by Jackie Andrietta, the hotel's wedding coordinator

Photography

Dina Rose of Royersford, through Bella Pictures, headquartered in California

Music

Bucky Scott of Scott Entertainment, Valley Forge.

Dress

Van Cleve Collection, Paoli

Invitations

Invitations by Design, Exton

Planner

The bride's friend, Debbie Sparre of West Chester, planned the wedding as a gift to the couple

Do You Have the Date?

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