DEAR ABBY: My brother was adopted at birth through an agency, but he was never told. He's in his mid-50s now. We have no other siblings. Our parents never felt my brother was emotionally strong enough to accept the news of his adoption. Our father passed on years ago, and our mother is now elderly.
From a health-care point of view, I think my brother should know, but I don't feel I have the right to tell him while Mom is living (she is adamant that he must not know, especially after so long). Should I tell him he is adopted after our mother passes away?
In A Quandary
DEAR QUANDARY: No, you should tell him now - while it may be possible for him to get the answers to the many questions he is sure to have from his mother.
Lay it on the landline
DEAR ABBY: Many households no longer use landlines and relies on cellphones. It could save someone's life if they would enter the phone number of the sheriff's office of the county in which they reside to ensure there's a backup to the frequently overloaded 911 system.
This is important, especially if you have two homes. However, it's also a good idea for people who own a single residence. In rural areas, it can take a long time to locate someone calling from a cellphone, which is no replacement for a landline in an emergency.
DEAR PREPARED: Many people forget that cellphones - unlike landlines - are not connected to a network from which their location will automatically appear on a screen when they call an emergency number. With cellphones, the caller must verbally give the dispatcher the location of the emergency.
DEAR ABBY: I want to let go of all past hurts, disappointments and bad things that have happened. I don't want to walk around angry and bitter all the time, but I am taken all the way back to the original feelings when they are triggered. I want to truly forgive, whether it's myself, others or even God. Any tips?
Trying To Let It Go
DEAR TRYING: When you catch yourself dwelling on long-gone painful incidents, do not waste your happier present by allowing them to take up any more space in your here and now. Take a deep breath, release it, then tell yourself out loud, "That was then. This is NOW!" Then move from that location and concentrate on a different subject.