Dude wants sex like a lady
Strap-on (for her) and womens clothes (for him) arent this wifes idea of a good time.
Q: I feel like I'm going crazy. My husband wants to dress like a woman when we make love. And he wants me to wear a strap-on so he can experience anal sex.
I gave in to both, but this is not me. At the same time, I don't want to stop him from being who he is. I told him I wanted a divorce, but he won't give me one because he's still in love with me and doesn't want to leave the kids. I do not understand how he can want to feel like a woman and also desire me. My marriage vows are very important to me - I am a Catholic - but I don't know what to do.
Mia: If you don't want to strap on or snuggle up next to your husband when he's dressed in a pink nightgown, then don't! That's his kink, not yours. It's not all that uncommon for heterosexual men to enjoy anal penetration, but it takes a very accepting woman to be with a cross-dresser. You are going to need counseling. I suggest you don't delay.
Steve: Sex can't be one-sided. He's got to stop demanding things that you don't like. But you should find something he likes that you can live with. Marriage survives on compromise.
Q: I was at a funeral and ran into an old lover. He was a no-good man but the best lover I ever had. It's been a minute since I had sex, and I know how good this was. So seeing him again was giving me a little fever. Should I give him another chance?
Steve: Everyone deserves second chances. But not for the same mistakes.
Mistake No. 1, shame on him. You were an innocent victim.
Same mistake again? Shame on you. You have self-hatred issues.
Mia: It depends on what your goals are. If you are looking to get married and settle down, avoid him, and don't take his calls. There's a reason why you left him before, right?
But if you're just interested in random sexual experiences with men and it doesn't violate your moral code, then go ahead and backslide. Just remember not to start catching feelings for him, because if Dude starts acting up again, you're going to feel like an idiot.
Between them, Steve and Mia have logged more than a few decades in the single-and-dating world. They're also wise to the ways of married life. They don't always agree, but they have plenty of answers. Contact them at S&M c/o Daily News, 801 Market St., Philadelphia, PA 19107 or steveandmia@phillynews.com.