Chick Wit: How to be the Best Wedding Guest

As wedding season throws its final handful of rice, I've reflected on what it means to be a great wedding guest. Anyone can show up on time, dressed appropriately, with a warm heart and well wishes for the happy couple. But how can you take your guesthood to the next level? I've identified some key players at every successful wedding. See where you fit in, and make your next R.S.V.P. essential.

Up first is the Master of Ceremonies. He or she is that friend with the right mix of warmth and seriousness to pull off the most important duties at the ceremony, like giving a reading or officiating. My buddy has been asked to give a reading at nearly every wedding he's invited to. He's a pop-culture junkie with an English Ph.D., so he finds the perfect excerpt, whether from an Edith Wharton novel or an episode of Gilmore Girls. It's a gift. Don't waste this friend as a ring bearer; a cute dog can do that. Get the Master of Ceremonies front and center to make us all look more mature and responsible than we really are.

Another classic is the Crybaby. Every wedding needs that one guest to provide the waterworks. I confess, I suck at this. When I was a bridesmaid, I warned my bride that the performance pressure of a wedding blocks my tear ducts like the Hoover Dam. But that's why this role is important; not everyone can do it. Bonus points if you're a male. Crybaby-man-tears catch like wildfire. Daily Double if the Crybaby is somebody's dad. Don't be embarrassed: A wedding calls for sentimentality, so bring us on home.

I've recently developed a specialty as the Off-the-Cuff Speaker. Speeches are high-stakes at a wedding. I'm comfortable with public speaking, and I have a great memory for funny yet flattering anecdotes. As a writer, I can edit on the fly, so that hilarious spring-break story can be rendered appropriate for all audiences. Every newlywed needs that backup speaker in the wings in case the Best Man whiffs it. A good Off-the-Cuff friend ensures the reception is only a glass-clink away from rescue.

Once the reception gets rolling, the Crazy Dancer comes in. The Crazy Dancer can be crazy-good, or better yet, just crazy. He or she breaks the seal on looking cool on the dance floor and gives us all permission to cut loose. His manic enthusiasm is contagious and fun, in small doses. Stand near him too long, and you risk being struck by a flailing arm or the tail end of "the worm."

Then there's the Child Star. This kid displays the attention-seeking behavior that can make for a terror in the grocery store, but a superstar at a wedding reception. Slick moves in a tiny package, this kid charms everyone by dominating the dance floor and giving us old people a much-needed breather until the sugar buzz wears off. With that uninhibited charisma, the Child Star could grow into the next Jimmy Fallon or Jennifer Lawrence . . . or the next Crazy Dancer.

The Social Media Maven. These days, your wedding is part of your personal brand. You need a professional, or a pal who acts like one. The Social Media Maven comes up with a punny hashtag based on the couple's names, and posts online gorgeous candids of the day, filtered to perfection, of course. Who can wait two months for professional photos to come out? Newlyweds need bragging rights on Facebook now. Consider yourself #blessed to have a friend like this.

The After-Party Promoter. This person intuits the exact moment when the reception is dying down. Or if intuition isn't your thing, just have the DJ play Bon Jovi's "Livin' on a Prayer" and achieve the same end. The After-Party Promoter somehow knows a solid dive bar in whatever city he's in. He's the patron saint of Patrón. He gets everyone else drunk on shots, yet stays sober enough himself to herd us all back on the party bus or other safe transportation home. At the end of the night, he's the bro-hero you need.

Hopefully, you've recognized yourself in one of these key roles. But if not, don't worry. You have until next wedding season to hone your skills.

Look for Lisa and Francesca's latest humor collection, "Does This Beach Make Me Look Fat?" Also, look for Lisa's newest novel, "Every Fifteen Minutes."

Francesca@francescaserritella.com.